2) Why are relationship conflicts dysfunctional ?
Answers
Answer:
Disagreements are a fact of life in many interpersonal relationships (e.g., marital, friendships, workplace). It’s hard to have a meaningful association with another and not have opposing viewpoints or opinions, at least occasionally. How the individuals express their dissents is important in assessing the impact of the conflict.
Conflict management strategies based on mutual respect and understanding which foster intimacy and security lead to healthy and enduring relationships. Thus, the type of communication that the parties engage in during disagreements may well have a significant effect on whether conflict management has positive or negative outcomes.
Positive outcomes may include:
Reduced anxiety, lack of fearfulness and tension when expressing disagreement
Increased closeness with each other
Not letting the disagreement become more intense or damaging
Understanding each party’s opinion by having meaningful and open discussion
Within the family, demonstrating positive conflict resolution as an example to the children
Negative outcomes in poor conflict management can result in:
Emotional responses, such as depression, anger, and anxiety
Less satisfaction with the relationship
Emotional and physical withdrawal
Physiological responses, such as increased stress
Harmful physical behavior, such as violence
Modeling poor conflict resolution strategies and contributing to the nature of their children’s interactions with others in the form of attachment insecurity or avoidance
Although most of us don’t tend to rate the intensity of our conflicts while in the moment, they can range, and in fact move, from mild to intense very quickly. Why?
Content can raise emotionality: if the comments are critical, accusatory, or sarcastic they can precipitate anger.
How one speaks can also raise the intensity of the conflict: a quiet, measured tone can lead to a very different reaction than shouting.
How one behaves during the conflict can raise or lower the temperature: cooperative approaches, apologizing at the outset for any wrongdoing, and asking for clarification to genuinely understand the other person’s perspective can “cool” or reduce the intensity. Clearly, threatening or aggressive actions can raise the intensity. If you need to walk away for a “cool down” period, how you do this also raises or lowers the intensity—explain that you need to cool down and that you will come back later to address the issue. Doing this can enhance cooperative interactions.
Another important issue to consider is that we may react to anger based on what we witnessed in how our parents handled conflict. A number of studies have found that the ways in which a child’s family-of-origin responded to conflicts can influence how the developing child will behave toward conflict. For example, if a child witnesses her parents expressing hostile remarks to one another or if one parent continually avoids any discussion regarding disagreements, the child may engage in similar conflict strategies in her relationships as she ages. One of the more broadly accepted explanations for these behaviors on the part of the child is social learning theory. Parents’ dysfunctional conflict management strategies can impact their children. Therefore, being mindful of ways to improve communication skills and learn healthy conflict resolution methods not only improves the parents’ relationship with each other, but can also set a better example for the children.
Explanation: