6 ways to consolidate relationship
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For those looking for a partner through an online dating service or through regular dating for it to be successful, it is imperative to consolidate it from the beginning. When you find someone compatible you need to find ways to build the relationship and strengthen it over time.
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- Explanation:Recognize that some conflict is part of any relationship. Whether the difference is something simple—you prefer the window open while you sleep and your partner wants it closed—or something more complex, like a difference in religious beliefs, what’s really important is not so much what the disparities are, but how you manage them, both as individuals and as a couple.
- Criticize a specific behavior or situation, not your partner’s personality. When I’m working with a couple, this is one of the first ground rules I ask them to set up. Complaints about personality are extremely unproductive, in part because the other person's automatic response is to defend himself or herself, and in part because such complaints undermine the feelings of being valued and loved that are key to any relationship’s well-being. And, of course, personality is a lot harder to change than behavior, so you’ll get a lot further if you present your concerns in terms of actions.
- When possible, a genuine offer to help with a difficult situation can ease conflict. For instance, if your partner is often late (while you are often on time), ask if you can help along with talking about how you feel in specific situations and offering concerns compliment sandwich-style: “I hear that you need to see the opening credits of this movie to get the full story; I really would like to get there a little early. Is there anything I can do to help you get out of the house early tonight?”
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