a dialogue between parents and a child wanting to put highlights on her hair to a party she was invited to
Answers
Child: Can I have this ?
Me: No.
Child: Ah, perhaps I’ve miscommunicated. I’m asking for it because I want it.
Me: I understood that, actually.
Child: I think maybe you’re not hearing me. I’d like it because I want it.
Me: I’ve heard you quite well, I’m saying that’s not actually an argument.
Child: PERHAPS IF I SAID IT LOUDER.
Me: There’s no problem with my hearing. The problem is that your argument is, as the Romans would say, circulus in probando.
Child: Well then, let me offer this new information: I want it.
Me: That’s the same information. That’s what you just said, and it’s also the information I assumed when we started.
Child: Well, can I watch YouTube?
Me: You also can’t watch YouTube.
Child: If I can’t watch YouTube, then can I have it?
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Me: No! Sorry. No. Why would you think you can have it now?
Child: What if I ask more politely?
Me: I support your decision to behave more politely, and it might increase your chances of getting the next thing you want, but it won’t affect your access to this thing now.
Child: Can I have part of it?
Me: No. No, the having of it is what I’m saying no to. Having part of it is the same as having it.
Child: So can I have all of it?
Me: No! I’m answering the same question. The answer is no.
Child: Why not?
Me: BECAUSE I—Look. No.
Child: But, OK, look, here is some new information.
Me: Yes. What is it?
Child: I need it.
2.
Me: Put your shoes on.
Child: Let the games ...
Me: Nonononono ...
Child: BEGIN!
Me: Just put your shoes on.
Child: In the vacuum of space, are there free-floating molecules?
Me: Put your shoes on.
Child: Did you know that we don’t actually vote for president, we vote for people who vote for president?
Me: I don’t care, put your shoes on.
Child: I am.
Me: You’re not. Put your shoes on.
Child: Why do we have shoes anyway?
Me: Just put your shoes on.
Child: That reminds me, where are my shoes?
Me: What? They’re right there! Right next to your feet!
Child: Oh, these shoes?
Me: YOU ONLY HAVE ... I’m sorry. Yes. Those shoes. Your only shoes.
Child: Why don’t I have more shoes?
Me: No more questions, just put your shoes on.
Child: I can’t. I’m not wearing socks.
Me: Did you take your socks OFF?
Child: Well, I’m not wearing them any more, so it’s a fair bet.
Me: Put on your socks and then put on your shoes.
Child: I am!
Me: You’re not! You’re just sitting there!
Child: This is me putting on my shoes! This is part of it! All of this, this is the putting on of the shoes. It says in the I Ching ...
Me: NO. NO MORE I FRIGGIN’ CHING. PUT YOUR ... I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Just ... put your shoes on.
Child: I found my socks. They were right here next to my shoes.
Me: If you put your shoes on by the time I count to five, I’ll let you choose what we do next. One ...
Child: (with socks and shoes already on) YouTube.
Illustration by Natalie Matthews-R
Answer:
parents: yes child what happened why do you look tensed,come sit here let us talk.
child: mom ... dad...please don't be mad at me because I want to ask you something
parents: come on what is it ?you ask us anything and we hope our daughter know very well what her parents can and cannot provide you with...
child: yes,but still...I was planning to get some highlights on my hair .You know right next week is Neha's birthday. There everyone will be having blue highlights on their hair. And I don't want to be left out.
parents: (chuckles)oh dear we thought that you were going to say something serious. and it turned out to be such a silly thing. You surely can put highlights. But next time onwards don't do what everyone else is doing. Do what your heart says
Hope it helps