An essay on the worst food that I ever eat
The most disgusting meal I ever had was on March 13, 2010. I should have realized the danger signs by looking at the date, but I was not superstitious back then. I have such an amazingly focused memory of that day, it could have been yesterday. But it was not. That day I was being taken care of a real witch. At least I thought she was one. She was my mother’s distant relative, and as my mother had some work, she was babysitting me. I played by myself for a while, after which I started feeling hungry. I asked my babysitter for something to eat.
She left the choice of the food to me; I was delighted. I commanded her to make me some noodles. When she requested if she could make them healthier, I agreed, thinking she was putting some vegetables. I was feeling triumphant of having tricked her into making something delicious, but I was wrong.
When she asked me to ready the plates, my mouth watered just thinking of the yummy noodles. I did smell a weird smell, but it was replaced by the picture of the noodles. When she finally brought the food on a plate, I was revolted by the look of it. It was a muddy brown colour, which I found very odd. I did not want to hurt the old lady’s feelings so I decided to taste it. But that was the worst decision I ever made.
When I took my first bite, I was expecting something bad, but I was totally not prepared for what the ‘noodles’ actually tasted like. It was gross. The texture of the soup was rough with small particles, just like muddy water, and the noodles were uncooked and as hard as rocks. There were other slimy things that wriggled in my mouth but I did not know what they were. I was fighting the urge to spit it all out, but I excused myself to the bathroom to throw it from my mouth. Blarrggh!!!
I knew then that the witch had cooked me a real witches’ brew with noodles. I was scared that she would perform a spell on me, so I stayed in the bathroom all day till my mother came to pick me up. From the look of it, witch herself had devoured the ‘noodles’. I never stayed with the witch again and never told anyone of my traumatic experience.
When I look back on that 13th of March, (which I would rather not do) I realize that the event would not have been that dramatic without my childish view of the woman as a witch. I would have not asked her for food, if I had known she cannot see properly and was not allowed to cook. That day will forever remain etched in my memory and I shall never forget the the plate of rubbish that I ate that day.
(Please not that this story is entirely fictional)because I was only 5 years old
I've seen a lot of good food threads here, so here's a bad food thread.
One of these is truly a bad food (it will be evident when I describe it). The other two, are bad in that, they are not to my personal tastes. Other people may think they're akin to ambrosia. For the most part, things I consider "Bad Eats" are things that are both bad tasting, and obviously not well-made, as I try to distinguish between bad food and food that just isn't to my taste.
But, there are some things I don't plan on trying again (Exhibits B & C, in this case).
Caramel apples are a yummy autumn treat, right? I used to think so. I never got the ones encrusted with nuts or sprinkles, because, well, I just don't like it that way. So, I had a standard, caramel-covered apple. What could go wrong? I bite into it and the apple was rotten. My mouth was flooded with that sickly-sweet, fermented apple flavor mixed with sweet caramel. It was NOT good. The apple underneath the caramel was browner than the gooey stuff in which it was coated, and very mushy.
I haven't eaten a caramel apple since.
Uni, i.e. raw sea urchin row served on top of sushi rice. It looked like a blend of standard yellow mustard and brown deli mustard. $10 for two pieces. It was the last of the truly exotic sushis I had yet to try (OK, technically, it was nigiri). It was a delicacy, and I'd seen the likes of Andrew Zimmern and Anthony Bourdain declare it to be delicious.
It tasted like fishy beach. Texture-wise, it was firm and a little gelatinous, with no grit. But it tasted like beach. Briny, sandy, fishy. Ever picked up a sea shell and you could smell that something used to live in it? Yeah, like that. Not good. By concentrating on the analysis, I managed to get the first piece down (the saki helped), but I just couldn't bring myself to eat that second piece.
Chocolate Greek Yogurt. I like Greek yogurt. Chobani Dark Cherry being my current favorite. I like chocolate (understatement). Since the store was out of all my regular flavors, I picked up a four pack of a different brands chocolate Greek yogurt at the behest of my wife ("If you don't like it, we've only wasted $5."). Opening the container and stirring it did nothing to assuage my doubts. Tasting it...ugh. It tasted EXACTLY like I would have imagined chocolate sour cream tasting. It was like someone put chocolate syrup in sour milk. Not good. I had two bites and had to throw the rest away.