behaviours more than on the negative behaviours. For our young whiner it is essential to make a
(6) Like any process it will only work if you stick to it and follow it through. And don't be afraid to
refully
(1) Most parents at some stage are drivon lo distraction by one or more of their children's annoying
habits or behaviours, whether it is a toddler who continually whines, a school-aged child who
leaves clothes lying around or a teenager who uses n less than pleasant vocabulary
How to affect change is a challenge for many parents. Do you ignoro a child's annoying
or do you pick up on it? A useful rule of thumb is to pick up on behaviours that are
ask yourself. Is this behaviour reasonable for the child's age? For instance, it is reasonable to
dangerous to the child himself or significantly infringe on the rights and comfort of others. Also
expect an eight-year-old not to disturb you while you are on the phone for twenty minutes but it
is not reasonable to expect the same of a two-year-old. It is also useful to take into account the
child's current state of mind and what is going in on their lives that may be related to some
unusual behaviour to occur at home.
(3) The following four principles for changing your child's behaviour will be effective if you are both
patient and persistent. Change your initial response first. This is important because children's
behaviour generally requires a pay-off, which may be your attention or an attempt to defeat you.
The most important principle about changing children's behaviour is to change your own behaviour
first. So, if your child whines to get his own way refrain from answering back or giving in.
(4) Practice with your child the behaviour that you want. The notion of behaviour rehearsal is
fundamental to learning a new behaviour. Don't just tell kids what you expect, get them to
practice the behaviour you want. In the example of a young whiner-get him to practice asking
for help or a treat in a normal voice.
(5) Minimise the behaviour you don't want. That means when children continue their old behaviour
despite your brilliant suggestions ignore it, sidestep it or implement a consequence but don't
nag or harp on it. Remember it takes time often to change a behaviour, particularly if it has been
happening for a long time. Spotlight the appropriate behaviour. When your children behave in
the desired way show your sincere appreciation. We often take children for granted or rather we
are trained to give children no attention when they are good, but plenty when they are less than
perfect. The behaviours we focus on expand so we need to focus our attention on desirable
behaviour
fuss when he uses a normal voice to get what he wants.
adapt it to suit your circumstances. Remember, it is the fact that you have a plan rather than the
nature of the plan that is most powerful in achieving a change in your children's behaviour.
The Times of India. Note Making and Summary of passage.
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