comedy english doctor and patient conversation
Answers
Doctor: You are in very critical condition. you are dying and you don’t have much time.
Patient: OMG, that’s terrible. How long have I got?
Doctor: 10
Patient: 10 what? days, weeks, months or years?
Doctor: 10…9…8…7…6….
Patient: !!!!!!
John: Doctor, I have a cold in my eyes for last few days
Doctor: What?? Cold in the eye??
John: Yes Doctor. Like running nose, it’s running eye.
Doctor: Oh.. I got the point. Don’t wear your COOLING glass anymore.
Patient: Can you diagnose my illness?
Doctor: Your eyesight seems to be poor.
Patient: How did you come to that conclusion?
Doctor: Even you couldn’t read the front board sign. This is a Veterinary hospital.
Patient: ?!?!?
Doctor: Hi Geetha, What’s your problem?
Geetha: Actually I don’t know how to express my feeling of the pain doctor.
Doctor: Don’t worry, even I don’t know how to do surgery for this pain.
Geetha: What..???
John contacts a doctor over the phone.
John: My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Doctor: Is this her first child?
John: No.. you idiot, this is her husband..!
Doctor: ???
Doctor: You have a heart problem. So, throw away anything which makes you feel bad.
Patient: So, Can I throw your hospital charges bill?
Doctor: ???
Doctor: I have some bad news and very bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Patient: Tell me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your lab report came and it said you have only 24 hours to live.
Patient: What the hell? Nothing could be worse than this news. So what is the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday..!
Patient: ?!?!?!
Patient: Doctor, is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: Get married!
Patient: Will it help to live a long life?
Doctor: No, but it will avoid such thoughts.
Patient: Doctor, how much you charge for a plastic surgery?
Doctor: It’s about $10,000 bucks.
Patient: Alright, so how much it will be if I give some plastics?
Doctor: ??!??
Person: Doctor, my son swallowed our house key one month before
Doctor: But, why do you bring him after a month?
Person: We had a duplicate key, so we managed.
Doctor: ?!?!
A Doctor and an Engineer love the same girl.
Doctor: Every day I give a rose to her
Engineer: But, every day I give an apple to her
Doctor: Why you give an apple to her?
Engineer: An apple a day keeps a doctor away.
Doctor: ?!?!
Patient: Doctor, I couldn’t hear anything
Doctor: How long this problem happens?
Patient: It starts just one week ago
Doctor: Don’t worry. you are perfectly alright.
Patient: How you come to this conclusion?
Doctor: Because you answer my questions…!
Jack: Doctor, my wife drunk a liter of petrol. What can I do?
Doctor: Ask her to run 60 km. Then it’ll be alright.
Hope it helps you.
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