conflict are necessary for a healthy relationship speech please help me
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Most people don’t enjoy conflict and arguing, and many view it as a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Yet, conflict and disagreement are a necessary part of a healthy relationship. Obviously, it depends on the manner in which couples fight. Yelling, screaming, and name-calling are not a healthy way to proceed through a conflict.
Michael Batshaw, LCSW, and author of 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Married, says “Engaging in conflict isn’t going to end the relationship, it’s avoiding the conflict [that might].” There are many reasons why people avoid conflict in a relationship, but at what cost to our mental health and the relationship’s health?
The problem with brushing issues under rug or stuffing hurt feelings is that they never really go away. Instead, they usually just turn into bigger issues. Michigan relationship expert Teri Orbuch says her almost 24-year research study with couples found that if you don’t the small issues in your relationship, they just evolve into a bigger problem that’s then “really hard to unpack”.
Alternatively, being able to discuss small issues helps address the larger issues that are likely to occur somewhere down the road. Pre-eminent researcher and relationship expert John Gottman says that how often couples fight is not the determining factor in the success of the marriage, but rather how one fights is. Respect turns out to be the defining variable, which means as long as couples respect each other during a conflict, fighting is not a threat to the relationship.
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