Conversation between a brother and sister planning to surprise the parents on world parent's day.
Answers
Answer:
Child: Can I have this?
Me: No.
Child: Ah, perhaps I’ve miscommunicated. I’m asking for it because I want it.
Me: I understood that, actually.
Child: I think maybe you’re not hearing me. I’d like it because I want it.
Me: I’ve heard you quite well, I’m saying that’s not actually an argument.
Child: PERHAPS IF I SAID IT LOUDER.
Me: There’s no problem with my hearing. The problem is that your argument is, as the Romans would say, circulus in probando.
Child: Well then, let me offer this new information: I want it.
Me: That’s the same information. That’s what you just said, and it’s also the information I assumed when we started.
Child: Well, can I watch YouTube?
Me: You also can’t watch YouTube.
Child: If I can’t watch YouTube, then can I have it?
Me: No! Sorry. No. Why would you think you can have it now?
Child: What if I ask more politely?
Me: I support your decision to behave more politely, and it might increase your chances of getting the next thing you want, but it won’t affect your access to this thing now.
Child: Can I have part of it?
Me: No. No, the having of it is what I’m saying no to. Having part of it is the same as having it.
Child: So can I have all of it?
Me: No! I’m answering the same question. The answer is no.
Child: Why not?
Me: BECAUSE I—Look. No.
Child: But, OK, look, here is some new information.
Me: Yes. What is it?
Child: I need it.
2.
Me: Put your shoes on.
Child: Let the games ...
Me: Nonononono ...
Child: BEGIN!
Me: Just put your shoes on.
Child: In the vacuum of space, are there free-floating molecules?
Me: Put your shoes on.
Child: Did you know that we don’t actually vote for president, we vote for people who vote for president?
Me: I don’t care, put your shoes on.
Child: I am.
Me: You’re not. Put your shoes on.
Child: Why do we have shoes anyway?
Me: Just put your shoes on.
Child: That reminds me, where are my shoes?
Me: What? They’re right there! Right next to your feet!
Child: Oh, these shoes?
Me: YOU ONLY HAVE ... I’m sorry. Yes. Those shoes. Your only shoes.
Child: Why don’t I have more shoes?
Me: No more questions, just put your shoes on.
Child: I can’t. I’m not wearing socks.
Me: Did you take your socks OFF?
Child: Well, I’m not wearing them any more, so it’s a fair bet.
Me: Put on your socks and then put on your shoes.
Child: I am!
Me: You’re not! You’re just sitting there!
Child: This is me putting on my shoes! This is part of it! All of this, this is the putting on of the shoes. It says in the I Ching ...
Me: NO. NO MORE I FRIGGIN’ CHING. PUT YOUR ... I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Just ... put your shoes on.
Child: I found my socks. They were right here next to my shoes.
Me: If you put your shoes on by the time I count to five, I’ll let you choose what we do next. One ...
Child: (with socks and shoes already on) YouTube.
Illustration by Natalie Matthews-Ramo
3.
Me: OK, come eat dinner.
Child: This is dinner?
Me: Yes.
Child: I see. I see. So you’re saying this is dinner.
Me: It’s getting cold.
Child: But this is whole pieces of food that you’ve just … cooked.
Me: Yes. We’re eating something healthy for dinner.
Child: How can we be sure this is healthy?
Me: It’s healthy. And it’s dinner. Eat it.
Child: I had cold pizza and Skittles for breakfast, and then I got a 100 on my spelling test.
Me: You’ve stumbled into post hoc ergo propter hoc there, buddy, and that hasn’t worked since the second century.
Answer:
s- I have a great idea
b- for what?
s-for world parents day