Question

Dialogue between table and chair?

Answer 1

you got that idea from, but I’m glad you thought so. We’ve never really had the chance to properly chat – there’s always been a person in between us!
Table: Yes, that’s true, it’s a nice opportunity.
I’m glad you think so. I will only be posing one question to start off the conversation; please feel free to go off topic.
C: No doubt I shall.
So, to begin, what is your favourite type of wood?
C: Oh, definitely cypress.
T: Cypress? How come?
C: Because I’m made of it! No, no, that’s not true. I think my favourite wood would probably be mahogany; it’s just so elegant. Oh, and that almost metallic glimmer you sometimes see in it if it’s been treated well, I love that. Yes, I’d say that my favourite wood is mahogany, such a classic.
T: Ah, that’s funny because I’m made of mahogany.
C: There you go, you struck me as that sort of elegant gentleman. My first neighbour was mahogany-made as well. You couldn’t find a more considerate neighbour anywhere. I’ve never gotten in a leg-tangle with him.
T: Sounds like a charming man.
C: Oh, he sure was. It was such a shame that he was moved. I worked in a hall, you see, and the students always moved us around, so I guess it was inevitable. Still … oh well.
T: That reminds me of what happened with my first partner.
C: Similar thing happened then?
T: Yes. I worked in a hall too, you see. A university hall. I served for the headmaster at the front, and one day I found myself next to the most beautifully crafted walnut table I have ever seen. I’ll never forget the look of her grain – it flowed in the smoothest, most graceful curve along her surface. She was a sturdy one too, but she was of a quality too fine for our hall. She was bought one day by a guest who took interest in her – I believe he was a man of some stature. So she was shipped overseas…and I never saw her again.
C: Oh, I’m so sorry, that’s absolutely tragic.
T: Yes, well…life goes on. I suppose it was for the best; she would have just wasted herself away in that hall. Some people were just made for better things.
C: Now don’t you take that fatalistic attitude!
T: It can’t be helped.
C: Well, you were clearly made for better things too – look where you are now!
T: You don’t really mean to say that this café is much of an upgrade?
C: But you are the star of this café, the grand table, where all the sociable people gather! You are the place of insightful conversations and happy moments of the youths or the aged friends –
T: More like the place where people go where there aren’t any seats elsewhere –
C: Are you trying to make me seem like a last resort too?
T: No, no, of course not. But you have to admit, the only conversations that happen here are the awkward ones where strangers, who were forced to sit next to one another for lack of vacancies, try to break the tension of being within such close vicinity of each other, and end up asking pointless questions like “How’s your coffee?” and just end up making it all the more awkward.
C: Our location’s good though; we’re next to the palace!
T: The Palace Cinemas.
C: Still something of a palace. Did you know that I once had a friend who ended up in the Buckingham Palace? I heard the Queen even sat on her once!
T: Really?
C: Yes, she was a talented one. She was born with a fine embroidery on her back and seat cushions, and we found out one day that it was actually one of the queen’s men who had done it. They wanted her back and she was sent off to the palace straight away. What luck!
T: If only the rest of us had such luck.
C: The most peculiar thing happened to me the other day; it was in the middle of a busy day, and a lady (a rather young one, too) came over to me. She had with her a great, big woven basket and in it were balls of yarn – I thought I saw every colour of the rainbow. Then, instead of sitting down, she knelt down and began to knit around my legs! It was the most curious thing! When she finished, my legs were wrapped in a warm, colourful knit. I was very grateful. Quite strange, but very nice of her to do.
T: I’ve been seeing a couple chairs with those knitted leg-warmers recently. It must be the same person.
C: It’s very kind of her, especially seeing as it was winter.
T: I was once given a nice tablecloth as a present from one of the regular customers.
C: I remember that!
T: I really loved the embroidery on it.
C: The baubles were so festive – like Christmas in cloth form!
T: We don’t get these presents much anymore though, do we?
C: No, not really.
T: I suppose it’s part of getting old. The café’running behind the time, the regulars from when the place was popular have mostly, well,
died .
C: But that’s what happens when you get old, most of the people you grew up around start to die.
T: It can’t be helped.
C: No, I don’t suppose it can.