diary entry on the follwing topic
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DATE: TIME:
DAY:
DEAR DIAR
1. Distract yourself.
It’s easy to run over and over the topic that’s stressing us out, whether that’s the new coronavirus outbreak, the state of the climate or something else. But stopping people from ruminating on a recent stressful event – by offering a distraction – can lower their blood pressure back to normal levels quicker than offering no distraction.
2. If you meditate, be aware that it might not work for everyone.
In times like these, many people might find meditation and mindfulness helpful. But others might not – for precisely the reason above. For some people, practicing stillness might simply invite rumination. It can be difficult not to think about stressful events when trying to clear our minds. This may be why evidence for the benefits of mindfulness and meditation is patchy. For those people, a more compelling distraction than meditation might be required.
3. Reframe the situation.
How we interpret our emotions is largely down to how they’re framed – in other words, the context. While talking about his 2017 book Happy, Derren Brown gives the example of a tennis player going into a match thinking “I must win”. If they set an expectation that winning is everything, if they start to lose, they feel like an abject failure. This is a trap perfectionists tend to fall into, and it’s why perfectionists tend to respond with more guilt, shame and anger when they feel they aren’t succeeding. They may even be more likely to give up.
The player who goes into a match thinking “I will play the best I can”, however, believes that they are less hurt by losing, so long as they are doing their best. The signs of failure are interpreted differently by both players based on the expectations that they set for themselves.
It’s worth thinking about how you can apply this in your daily life: can each moment or day be about doing the best you can in a stressful situation (“I will practice proper hygiene and social distancing”), rather than focusing on an outcome out of your control (“I will not and cannot get sick”)?
That control part is key. Stressful situations are often beyond our control, and we create anxiety and worry when we try to control what we can’t. Focusing on what can be controlled, on the other hand, can decrease feelings of anxiety.
now I am sleepy. I will talk to you tomorrow.
good night!