Essay on words are free it’s how you use them that cost you
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I’ve always admired strong, silent types. You know, people with great poker faces. Ones who have extraordinary command over their emotions. Those who think carefully about what they intend to say so they can articulate it well the first time around.
I admire these kinds of people.
But I am most definitely not one of them.
I think out loud. I can form decently thoughtful opinions on just about anything. I come fully loaded with a ton of questions, about people and the world. I’m rarely at a loss for words. I wear my heart and my emotions on my sleeve.
When I’m processing something verbally (which I often do), it’s like playing a game of darts: I keep throwing a bunch of words at the board, hoping I come up with something that lands right on the “bullseye.” When I finally hit upon something that feels exactly right and resonates with my heart, I get super excited about it. I love little more than using words, whether written or verbal, to communicate and create profound and precise understanding—of oneself, of others, of actions and results in the world around us.
And most of the time, it’s a good thing. But what I’m realizing is that, while I’m busy striving for a “bullseye,” I forget about the potential impact of all the other darts. They can create pain, confusion, distrust, tension, and a whole host of other less-than-awesome stuff in between you and someone else.
Words can be incredibly powerful tools.
But they can also be incredibly powerful—often unintentional—weapons.
What I’m learning as I go is that it's so important to be careful and thoughtful with the words you choose to use. Sure, processing information or your thoughts out loud in front of someone else can be a powerful form of clarity and conflict resolution. But, can also do the opposite, creating confusion and chaos, instead.
If you’re like me and you tend to process verbally, try writing down your thoughts and feelings instead of expressing them out loud right away. Develop a system for yourself when you receive criticism from or disagree with someone else. Here are some good rules of thumb to get you started. I’ve tested out all of them with a great deal of success
When you use words as bridges instead of bombs, just about all of your relationships will change for the better.
And in the end, relationships are the things that matter most. So be thoughtful and gentle with every word you say, starting now.
Because words are free. But how you use them might cost you a lot.