Given below is a short poem .Read the poem and answer the questions that follow:- In just one year that has passed So much joy we have amassed In just an year that went by You won our hearts, cutie pie In just one year that has flown Our fondness for you has grown A fantastic year it has been So much happiness we have seen All because of you, my dear baby You deserve the best birthday party, Happy first birthday. QUESTIONS -- Use the space given to answer the question. 1. What do you think the poem is about?
Answers
Answer:
From my perspective, this is pretty good, but slight.
Most contemporary poetry that uses rhyme focuses on varieties of off-rhyme rather than true rhyme--in a sense, all the true rhymes have already been taken, so the play of sound in Melody/remedy and Love/have is actually pretty cool to my ear, and I studied versification with Fitzgerald at Harvard, so I am not just making this up.
It's really the meter I would look at, not the rhyme, but also I would caution that however you work the poem, it still will be slight--its not "O Western wind / when wilt thou blow, etc.".
What meter are you looking for? You have a ragged iambic three beat line first, and then a really ragged seven syllable line in the second, and then pretty much the same in the next couplet. This can be intentional, but two words in the poem don't work in any rhythm--remedy and inflicts.
Two many unstressed syllables in "is a remedy" and remedy is a weak word anyway, and "inflicts" where it falls puts all the stress in the first syllable that just makes the word seem off.
Like a sweet melody
Her voice in harmony
Reminds me of love,
A smile--joy I can't have.
Something like that tightens the meter while leaving the off-rhymes, which I like.