how children were trained under racism?
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The child is appreciated for who he is, regardless of what he can or can’t do.
The child is not typecast. Generalizations like “shy,” “loud,” “bossy,” are not used, and put-downs like “bratty,” “whiny,” and “stupid” are also off-limits.
The child’s curiosity is supported. When questions are asked about why people look or act the way they do, those questions are warmly answered at a level the child can understand. In other words, it’s OK to be interested in all aspects of being human.
The child is not compared to others, and judgments like “bad,” “good,” “better,” and “best” aren’t used to classify him or other people. This means, for instance, that when asked why some people are sent to jail, a parent would explain that those people have done something seriously hurtful to someone else, not that those are bad people. Or, a parent would ask a child who is kicking others under the dinner table to wrap his legs around the chair legs rather than telling him he’s a bad boy.
The child is not intimidated for having upsets about the things that matter to him. In particular, the child is allowed to express feelings with crying, tantrums, and “freedom of the mouth” while crying or tantruming. You, as parent, will often set limits that upset your child. That’s your job, and it’s an important one. However, your child’s job is then to blast away the bad feelings that those limits bring forth, so he can recover his sense that you care and that his life is a good one. When a child cries, has a tantrum, or storms in response to a limit, he is using an inborn healing and cleansing process. He needs your attention while he gets rid of awful feelings. It restores your child’s sense that his life is good, and his trust in you and others.
The child is not hit, slapped, threatened with physical attack, shamed, or blamed. These kinds of attacks by adults leave big emotional scars on children, and impress them with the notion that some people deserve to be called “bad” and then mistreated.
The child is not typecast. Generalizations like “shy,” “loud,” “bossy,” are not used, and put-downs like “bratty,” “whiny,” and “stupid” are also off-limits.
The child’s curiosity is supported. When questions are asked about why people look or act the way they do, those questions are warmly answered at a level the child can understand. In other words, it’s OK to be interested in all aspects of being human.
The child is not compared to others, and judgments like “bad,” “good,” “better,” and “best” aren’t used to classify him or other people. This means, for instance, that when asked why some people are sent to jail, a parent would explain that those people have done something seriously hurtful to someone else, not that those are bad people. Or, a parent would ask a child who is kicking others under the dinner table to wrap his legs around the chair legs rather than telling him he’s a bad boy.
The child is not intimidated for having upsets about the things that matter to him. In particular, the child is allowed to express feelings with crying, tantrums, and “freedom of the mouth” while crying or tantruming. You, as parent, will often set limits that upset your child. That’s your job, and it’s an important one. However, your child’s job is then to blast away the bad feelings that those limits bring forth, so he can recover his sense that you care and that his life is a good one. When a child cries, has a tantrum, or storms in response to a limit, he is using an inborn healing and cleansing process. He needs your attention while he gets rid of awful feelings. It restores your child’s sense that his life is good, and his trust in you and others.
The child is not hit, slapped, threatened with physical attack, shamed, or blamed. These kinds of attacks by adults leave big emotional scars on children, and impress them with the notion that some people deserve to be called “bad” and then mistreated.
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