Question

Is a woman ment to have a child? Ment to be used? A disgrace? Why/why not?

Answer 1

Answer:

Explanation:

Bryan Caplan is an economist and a dad who has thought a lot about the joys and stresses of being a parent. When I asked him whether there is an ideal number of children to have, from the perspective of parents’ well-being, he gave a perfectly sensible response: “I’m tempted to start with the evasive economist answer of ‘Well, there’s an optimal number given your preferences.’”

When I pressed him, he was willing to play along: “If you have a typical level of American enjoyment of children and you’re willing to actually adjust your parenting to the evidence on what matters, then I’ll say the right answer is four.”

Four does happen to be the number of children Caplan himself has. But he has a rationale for why that number might apply more generally. His interpretation of the research on parenting, which he outlines in his 2011 book, Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids, is that many of the time- and money-intensive things that parents do in hopes of helping their children succeed—loading them up with extracurriculars, sending them to private school—don’t actually contribute much to their future earnings or happiness.

Answer 2

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m over 50. I don’t have kids. And you would not believe the clumsy, insensitive and at times cruel things that have been said to me, not only by strangers but also family and so-called friends.

As someone who did want kids, it’s especially infuriating – and if you think that your childless friends aren’t also infuriated, then they just haven’t let you see it. I know they are, because as someone who has written a lot about this subject, I’ve had plenty of people contact me privately to thank me for doing so.

Bibi Lynch: 'You would not believe the clumsy, insensitive and at times cruel things that have been said to me, not only by strangers but also family and so-called friends'

Bibi Lynch: 'You would not believe the clumsy, insensitive and at times cruel things that have been said to me, not only by strangers but also family and so-called friends' CREDIT: PHOTOGRAPHER: SOPHIA SPRING, LOCATION: CASITA ANDINA (WWW.ANDINALONDON.COM/CASITA)

I know (most) people are just trying to make their childless (I can’t embrace the word ‘childfree’ yet) friends and loved ones feel better. Just trying to help and soothe. And that is kind and appreciated and lovely. Thank you.

I know how hard it is to see someone you love in this kind of pain, especially if you feel embarrassed and awkward because you do have children. It’s one of those situations, yes, where you feel you can’t say the right thing.

And that is sort of true. But if you can avoid saying any of the following, then at least you’re not going to make things worse.