Question

is there any mistakes in my story writing

Answer 1

I Think you wrote that "the door bell rang" again... And as my experience the hindi word is not allowed here in English exam or anywhere i experienced it myself in exam otherwise your story is good

Answer 2

7th line after clock ,it was lunch time.after door bell rang.she opened the door. it's mother with a small baby not and a small baby. what do you want, not what you want. OK.

HOPE IT HELPS U!!!