Question

Mention some reasons for frictional relationship
between parents and adolescents during early
adolescence.​

Answer 1

Answer:

Parent/child conflict increases during adolescence as the healthy teenager pushes for more independence to grow and healthy parents restrain that push in the interests of safety and responsibility.

Each of "the five engines that drive independence"—separation, expansion, differentiation, opposition, responsibility creates a different source of dispute.

SEPARATION can cause disagreements over time with peers versus time with family.

EXPANSION can cause disagreements over what one is old enough to do versus what one is not old enough to do.

DIFFERENTIATION can cause disagreements over what expression of individuality is okay versus what expression of individuality is not okay.

OPPOSITION can cause disagreements over living on adolescent terms versus living on parental terms.

RESPONSIBILITY can cause disagreements over what decisions one is not accountable for versus what decisions one is accountable for. Given this inevitability of more friction in the relationship, here are some notions about conflict that parents might find helpful to consider.

PARENTS ARE TRAINED IN CONFLICT and they need to know what their training model is. In their family of origin they witnessed and experienced conflict in formative ways. If it was a safe and constructive model (calm discussion leading to reasonable resolution), they might want to continue it with their adolescent; if it was an unsafe and destructive model (explosive attacks leading to hurt feelings), they might want to change it with their adolescent. Parents can modify the way of conducting conflict that they learned growing up if they want.

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