Question

Persuasive newspaper report about an incident or event involving chocolate

Answer 1

Answer:

The Willy Wonka factory was a mishap. We do not wish to reopen this place of horrors since it killed the children. We have taken Mr. Wonka into custody since he is a pedophile and a cereal killer. He has used the Oompa Loompas as his toys for years and we have put them all into American schools and adoptive families. We have discovered kids DNA in the chocolate. The chocolate has sold out everywhere but I warn you it could make you sick from the DNA and body parts of dismembered children. I am sorry for all the parents and grandparents of these children.

Explanation:

OML THIS IS AWESOME.