plz rate my essay (out of 5) . QUESTION : compare and contrast your way of life with that of your parents . which way of life do you think would be more satisfying to future generations
Answers
To summarize my critique, I suggest you pay special attention to the following:
- It's best to run a spell checker and better indent and space your essay. As Erin posted in the guidelines to the TWE forum, an indent of 5 spaces at the beginning of each space is recommended. I, personally, also prefer to leave a blank space between paragraphs to improve readability. See below for a comparison between the essay as you've written it, and the way it "should" be spaced (I usually use use both indentation and line spacing, but each on its own is also sufficient):
- Review punctuation regulations, especially in regard to spacing.
- Shorten your sentences - in English, shorter is considered better!
- Review capitalization rules: always capitalize "I" when it stands on its own, and always capitalize the first letter in a sentence.
- I suggest you avoid even the simplest "word shortcuts", e.g. "won't", "I'm", "aren't" etc. using the longer version of these expressions (e.g. "will not", "I am", "are not", etc.) adds formality to your essay and eliminates the chances of omitting apostrophes.
- Read English newspapers and magazines, such as: Wall Street Journal, Herald Tribune, Time, etc. I believe that drawing from these resources will significantly improve your writing style (I suspect that you've been reading much more complex academic materials rather than everyday writings, which is why you strive to write in such a complicated and eventually cumbersome manner. All I can say is that I've suffered from the same problem, and only started simplifying my essays after I realized that this style of writing is eventually more harmful than beneficial!)