spoken english Topic : The influence of parents on their children
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Answer:
When your child was younger, your role was to lay the foundations for their behaviour. For example, you probably showed your child how to cooperate and take turns with others. Now your child is older, they can start taking responsibility for their own behaviour.
But you’re still an important role model.
What you do shows your child how you want them to behave. For example, how you cope with feelings like frustration and distress influences how your child regulates their emotions. What you eat, how much you exercise, and how you look after yourself all influence your child.
What you say is also important. You can help your child to manage and control their behaviour by talking about how behaviour affects other people. You can also talk more with your child about the differences between right and wrong. Now’s a good time for this because your child is developing their ability to understand other people’s experiences and feelings.
Practical tips for role-modelling
Here are some practical ideas that can help you be a role model for your teenage child:
Include your child in family discussions, talk openly and give them input into family decisions, rules and expectations. These are good ways of helping your child understand how people can get along with others and work together.
Try to do the things you say your child should do. Teenagers can and do notice when you don’t!
Keep a positive attitude – think, act and talk in an optimistic way.
Take responsibility for yourself by admitting your own mistakes and talking about what you might do differently to avoid the same mistakes in the future. Try not to blame everything that goes wrong on other people or circumstances.
Use problem-solving skills to deal with challenges or conflicts in a calm and productive way. Getting upset and angry when a problem comes up encourages your child to respond in the same way.
Show kindness and respect in the way you speak about and behave towards other people.
Be kind to yourself, and treat yourself with the same warmth, care and understanding you’d give to someone you care about.
Your influence on pre-teens and teenagers
You’re an important influence on your child, along with your child’s friends and peers. But your influence on your child is different from the influence of their friends.
Your child’s friends are more likely to influence everyday behaviour, like the music your child listens to or the clothes they wear.
As a parent, you influence your child’s basic values, like religious values, and issues related to their future, like educational choices.
And the stronger your relationship with your child, the more influence you’ll have, because your child will be more likely to seek your guidance and value your opinion and support. In fact, if you have a strong relationship as your child becomes a young adult, they’ll probably end up with values, beliefs and behaviour that are similar to yours.
Teenagers need you to stay in touch with them and what they’re up to, even if they don’t show it. You can take an interest in what they’re doing with their friends without invading their space if you balance your child’s privacy with monitoring and trust.
Ideas for influencing pre-teen and teenage attitudes and behaviour
You can influence many aspects of your child’s behaviour as well as their attitudes. Here are some of the areas and ways you can influence your child.