Taking help from "show, don't tell" write a short paragraph explaining a frightening situation at night.
Answers
Answer:
Huge blocks of description and dialogue in a story are rare. To keep a story moving, authors mix description with dialogue, and add character thoughts, and action. When all these elements are put together well the author’s words will form a “movie” inside the reader’s head, and the reader will feel like he is being shown the story, rather than told it.
Telling you that “she was angry” is not nearly as effective as showing you her anger:
“She kicked open the screen door, letting it slam against the wall as she dashed outside. Down the steps and into the yard she flew. Grabbing the first rock in her path, she hurled it back toward the house. It crashed though the living room window with an explosion of shattered glass.” (From Marion Dane Bauer’s What’s Your Story)
Beginning writers often make the mistake of telling us what their characters said and did instead of showing us through dialogue and active description. If E.B. White had told us the opening to Charlotte’s Web, he might have written it this way:
Fern was in the kitchen when she saw her father go by with an ax. She wondered what he was doing with it. Her mother told her he was going to do away with a pig that had been born too small. Fern was upset because she didn’t think a pig should be killed just because it was smaller than other pigs.
Instead, White showed us what was happening through effective use of dialogue and description:
“Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.
“Out to the hoghouse,” replied Mrs. Arable. “Some pigs were born last night.”
“I don’t know why he needs an ax,” continued Fern, who was only eight.
“Well,” said her mother, “one of the pigs is very small and weak, and it will never amount to anything. So your father has decided to do away with it.”
“Do away with it?” shrieked Fern. “You mean kill it? Just because it’s smaller than the others?”
The “worksheets” that follow this section will give your students some practice changing “telling” statements to “showing.” Or you can make up your own “telling” statements.
Another teaching strategy is to ask students to revise a “telling” piece of writing. You can use something you wrote, or an anonymous student sample, or something a student is currently working on and wants help revising.
Here is part of a student story a fifth grade class revised as a group:
One day George was riding his bike. A guy came up to him. He chased George into a dark alley. George rode through it fast and the man stopped to rest.
To help students revise the piece I asked questions to help them think about the elements of showing–action, description, dialogue, and character thoughts. For example: Where was George when he saw the man? What else did he see as he rode? What did the man look like? What did he do? Did he say anything? What was George thinking as the man approached him?) Here’s the class’ revision:
George pedaled into the dark alley. Off to his right he glimpsed a trash can. Crouched behind the can was a man in a short-sleeved shirt. George could see a tattoo on his arm.
Seeing George, the man held out a cigarette. “Gotta light?” he asked.
“Smoking’s bad for you,” George said. Suddenly his adrenaline began pumping. What if this guy tried to kidnap him?
Here’s another excerpt from a student story that students could practice on:
Mary opened her present quickly. She took out a doll. It was the one she’d always wanted. She thanked her parents, and happily started to play with it.
When you conference with students on their writing, point out places where they’ve “shown” something effectively. Then help them find places where they can change “telling” to “showing,” by asking questions like the ones I used above. During class sharing sessions, ask students to share excerpts from their writing (or from books they are reading), that “show.”
SHOW (don’t tell) your character’s traits and feelings!
Example: Jerry was a spoiled brat. (Main character
is Sharon, his older sister.)
ACTION/DESCRIPTION (Think VERBS! and sneaky description):
Jerry’s brown eyes NARROWED into slits. He
STAMPED his foot.
DIALOGUE: “I don’t care what you say. I want some candy
Explanation:
hope it is helpful