The summary of an uncomfortable bed
Answers
Answer:
Are you in Timpany School ??
Answer:
One autumn I went to spend the hunting season
with some friends in a chateau 1
in Picardy.
When I arrived, they gave me a princely
reception, which at once awakened suspicion in
my mind. They fired off rifles, embraced me,
made much of me, as if they expected to have
great fun at my expense.
I said to myself: "Look out, old ferret! They have
something in store for you."
During the dinner the mirth2 was excessive, exaggerated, in fact. I thought: "Here are people who have
more than their share of amusement, and apparently without reason. They must have planned some
good joke. Assuredly I am to be the victim of the joke. Attention!"
During the entire evening every one laughed in an exaggerated fashion. I scented a practical joke in the
air, as a dog scents game.3
But what was it? I was watchful, restless. I did not let a word, or a meaning,
or a gesture escape me. Every one seemed to me an object of suspicion, and I even looked distrustfully
at the faces of the servants.
The hour struck for retiring; and the whole household came to escort me to my room. Why? They
called to me: "Good-night." I entered the apartment, shut the door, and remained standing, without
moving a single step, holding the wax candle in my hand.
I heard laughter and whispering in the corridor. Without doubt they were spying on me. I cast a glance
round the walls, the furniture, the ceiling, the hangings, the floor. I saw nothing to justify suspicion. I
heard persons moving about outside my door. I had no doubt they were looking through the keyhole.
An idea came into my head: "My candle may suddenly go out and leave me in darkness."
Then I went across to the mantelpiece and lighted all the wax candles that were on it. After that I cast
another glance around me without discovering anything. I advanced with short steps, carefully
examining the apartment. Nothing. I inspected every article, one after the other. Still nothing. I went
over to the window. The shutters, large wooden shutters, were open. I shut them with great care, and
then drew the curtains, enormous velvet curtains, and placed a chair in front of them, so as to have
nothing to fear from outside.
Then I cautiously sat down. The armchair was solid. I did not venture to get into the bed. However, the
night was advancing; and I ended by coming to the conclusion that I was foolish. If they were spying on
me, as I supposed, they must, while waiting for the success of the joke they had been preparing for me,
have been laughing immoderately 4
at my terror. So I made up my mind to go to bed. But the bed was
particularly suspicious-looking. I pulled at the curtains. They seemed to be secure.
All the same, there was danger. I was going perhaps to receive a cold shower both from overhead, or
perhaps, the moment I stretched myself out, to find myself sinking to the floor with my mattress. I
searched in my memory for all the practical jokes of which I ever had experience. And I did not want to
be caught. Ah! certainly not! certainly not! Then I suddenly bethought myself of a precaution 5 which I
considered insured safety. I caught hold of the side of the mattress gingerly, and very slowly drew it
toward me. It came away, followed by the sheet and the rest of the bedclothes. I dragged all these
objects into the very middle of the room, facing the entrance door. I made my bed over again as best I
could at some distance from the suspected bedstead and the corner which had filled me with such
anxiety. Then I extinguished all the candles, and, groping my way, I slipped under the bed clothes.
For at least another hour I remained awake, starting at the slightest sound. Everything seemed quiet in
the chateau. I fell asleep.
I must have been in a deep sleep for a long time, but all of a sudden I was awakened with a start by the
fall of a heavy body tumbling right on top of my own, and, at the same time, I received on my face, on
my neck, and on my chest a burning liquid which made me utter a howl of pain. And a dreadful noise,
as if a sideboard 6
laden with plates and dishes had fallen down, almost deafened me.
I was smothering beneath the weight that was crushing me and preventing me from moving. I
stretched out my hand to find out what was the nature of this object. I felt a face, a nose, and whiskers.
Then, with all my strength, I launched out a blow at this face. But I immediately received a hail of
cuffing s7 which made me jump straight out of the soaked sheets, and rush in my nightshirt into the
corridor, the door of which I found open.
Oh, heavens! it was broad daylight. The noise brought my friends hurrying into my apartment, and we
found, sprawling over my improvised 8
bed, the dismayed valet, who, while bringing me my morning
cup of tea, had tripped over this obstacle in the middle of the floor and fallen on his stomach, spilling
my breakfast over my face in spite of himself.
only brought about the practical joke I had been try