UNSEEN PASSAGE -2
The role friend’s play in our lives has become significantly greater than at any other time in our history. Today many of us live and work great distances from where we were born or grew up and are separated from our original families. The pain we feel when we are away from our families can be significant.
The happiness of the individual relies on friendships which form a necessary human connection. It is perfectly normal to need and want friends and depression is more prevalent among those who lack friends. They lack the intimacy and richness friends can bring into our lives. Frequently friends reflect similar values to us. Yet these values are often different from the ones we grew up with; they are the values we create for ourselves in our adult lives.
Communication skills are fundamental in all friendships. The more friends and acquaintances one has, the greater are one’s communication skills. Some call these, people skills.
Like watering a plant, we grow our friendships (and all our relationships) by nurturing them. Friendships need the same attention as other relationships if they are to continue. These relationships can be delightfully non-judge mental, supportive, understanding and fun.
Sometimes a friendship can bring out the positive side that you never show in any other relationship. This may be because the pressure of playing a ‘role’ (daughter, partner or child) is removed. With a friend you are to be yourself and free to change. Of course you are free to do this in all other relationships as well but in friendships you get to have lots of rehearsals and discussion about changes as you experience them. It is an unconditional experience where you receive as much as you give. You can explain yourself to a friend openly without the fear of hurting a family member. How do friendships grow? The answer is simple. By revealing yourself; being attentive; remembering what is most important to your friend and asking them about it; putting yourself in their position; showing empathy; seeing the world through the eyes of your friend, you will understand the value of friendship. All this means learning to accept a person from a completely different family to your own or perhaps someone from a completely different cultural background. This is the way we learn tolerance. In turn we gain tolerance and acceptance for our own differences.
Friendships are made by being considerate which means all the communication skills come into play: active listening skills, questioning skills, negotiation skills, reflecting content skills, reflecting emotion skills, and editing yourself.
Friendships offer a great opportunity to learn about yourself because a friend can reflect back to you ‘how you come across in the world’. They also allow you to practice skills in dealing with ‘personal boundaries’ by looking after yourself as well as your friend. They help you develop resilience in relation to the wider social world beyond your family.
2.1. Answer the following questions briefly: (8 marks)
1. Why do friends play a more significant role today than ever before?
2. How is friendship different from other relationships?
3. Mention two essential human values that help friendship to grow.
4. Which communication skills help in building friendship?
2.2. Pick out world from the passage which mean the same as: (4 marks)
(a) basic / essential [para-3]
(b) mutual discussion to reach an agreement [para-6]
(c) showing [para-5]
(d) important [para-1]
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ans 1 ) today many of us live and work at great distances from where we were born or we grew up and separated from our original families
ans 2 ) sometime a friendship can bring our positive side that you never show in any other relationship
ans 3 ) tolerance and acceptance for our difference
ans 4 ) by having more friends
ans 2.2 a ) fundamental
b) opportunity
c) revealing
d) scientificant
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