व्हिच इज द लास्ट पॉपुलर स्पोर्ट्स
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7 | Canadian football
I fully expected American football to crack this list, but it didn’t. Even though it’s insanely popular in America and not watched anywhere else, the Super Bowl draws a lot of press coverage and eyeballs. In fact, it finished as the 15th most popular sport on my list. Canadian football, on the other hand, doesn’t even rank as the most popular sport in its home country (it loses out to hockey and possibly maple syrup drinking contests).
6 | Sailing
Ever since Christopher Cross played at the Newmanium, sailing has never been the same.
5 | Archery
If in a post-Hunger Games world archery STILL charts this low, the fifth-least popular sport in the world may actually be its peak.
4 | Polo
Polo is way less popular than water polo, which ought to lead to quite a few people gasping in horror, monocles falling into brandy snifters in the process. It might even be less popular than Marco Polo at this point. (The pool game and quite possibly also the explorer.)
3 | Fencing
Kind of a raw deal for fencing. Time to change the rules. Instead of points for touching your bendy sword into someone’s chess, award points for plunging your sword deep into their heart.
2 | Motocross/motorcycle racing
I combined the rankings for motocross, MotoGP, motorcycle racing, superbike and everything else motorcycle related because (1) I wanted to give them a fighting chance and (2) I couldn’t really differentiate between them even though I’m sure there are people out there who would punch me in the head for saying that. Other sports I combined (like various skiing and running sports) managed to dodge this list; the umbrella of motorcycle racing barely escaped absolute zero. Too bad. Vroom vroom vroom.
1 | Kabbadi
Kabbadi is the national sport of Bangladesh and, from what I can tell, it’s a mix of rugby without a ball and red rover. It has no chance of ever getting over in the U.S. now; if they weren’t letting kids play this when I was in school, they certainly won’t let today’s children play. Anyway, it’s huge in southeast Asia and almost no one else in the world has heard of it.