What are the possible differences between growing older and growing up? Please clarify the statement, Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is voluntary, with appropriate examples.
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We all grow old. Some of us grow up. There’s a difference. For some, growing old is mostly a matter of becoming increasingly worn-out and worn-down. But the best of us, not only become older, we become better – better human beings and better community members.
We not only grow older in time, but grow more mature in spirit. We age into our own true selves.
Contrarily, we all know other seniors who keep adding years and celebrating birthdays, but never grow up. In my profession, we used to say that some teachers benefit from 20 years of experience and become master teachers; while other have just one year of experience repeated 20 times over. They’re stuck. They don’t learn, grow, mature, develop or get better.
Unfortunately, some people age in the same way. There are older folks in their 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond who are still whiny brats. Others remain bullies all their lives. Still others never outgrow the narcissistic self-centeredness of youth. Their bodies age; but they are frozen in a state of immaturity. They grow old, but never grow up. Some even get worse as they grow older.
A few years ago, I had a regular, routine eye exam. I didn’t anticipate any problems, and my right eye easily read the eye chart down to the very fine print. Then, the doctor asked me to cover that eye and read the chart with the left eye. So I covered the right eye, looked closely and said, “What chart?!”
In a six-month period, I had lost the sight in one eye to macular degeneration. My good eye had compensated and I was completely unaware of my deficit.
There are many people who age this way too. As they grow older, they lose sight of what they could still become and aren’t even aware that their vision of themselves and of their future is impaired.
But the older adults we admire most do mature in character, values and spirit as they age biologically. Building on the lessons of longevity, they become more authentic, sensitive, compassionate, emphatic, generous, forgiving and nonjudgmental. It’s called growing up.
Growing old happens no matter what. You can’t not get older. But actually growing up requires work, intention, awareness, mindfulness and persistence. To finally become a mature adult, we have to learn from mistakes, remain open to change and accept and adjust to the realities of life. It helps if we find some late-life mentors and surround ourselves with mature role models.