What figure of speech "why do you wonder and ponder "?
Answers
I’ve been wondering about how hard it is to understand the feelings of others. It’s really hard. Not that I am a psychopath and am unable to feel emotions toward others, it’s that we often get the wrong idea about empathy. Empathy is about perceiving a situation as the other person would, not how you would.
How often we see ourselves dealing with other’s fear and diminishing it? “Oh, how can you be so scared with spiders, get over it!” Or to lessen the person’s happiness. “I don’t understand how you can be so happy about that. I mean,flowers aren't this important.” How we often overlook the situation. “Aren’t you worried with Lisa going out with her boy friends? They are handsome; I would never let my girlfriend do that.”
If we treat other’s situations with our own concepts even on these mundane examples, how are supposed to be prepared to help a friend on the worsts scenarios? Most of the time we don’t allow ourselves to get rid of our own judgment. It’s a true exercise to imagine myself as the other and experience things as they would. It is hard to remove my biases and get theirs. And, most of all, to allow myself to get theirs worries and fears without understanding them.
The more I think about that, the more concerned I am that real empathy is a utopian concept. And that is just sad! Each of us have been through unique experiences during our lifetime, to assume we fully understand the other situation is quite presumptuous. You can be the best at taking the perspective of the other person, to not judge then, to recognize their unique feelings and be able to express your understanding. But still, you are not them, you only gasped about being them.
After realizing how hard it is to understand this concept and put it in practice, professions like social work and psychology have gained much appreciation from me. Thanks for being there!
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