why do people leave in hard times?!
Answers
I'm not going to answer this question directly. There are many people are outlining valid reasons in the other answers.
I'm going to share with you my experiences regarding this issue. I have been through an incredibly dark period for the past few years, currently at its worst (relatively speaking, there's still highs and lows and I wouldn't be writing now if I was in a slump).
I have a fantastic group of friends, a few that I know will be there for me when I need them. But while I'm not currently the person who my friends came to love, I have noticed the amount of close friends who have distanced themselves from me, which is a rude awakening, but is quite enlightening at the same time.
I have always been there for others through their own battles, doing anything I can to help them through it. Including physically holding down a friend to stop them self harming, calling ambulances, driving for over an hour while on the phone with a friend who was in the process of attempting suicide. I even put my life on hold for 3 years to be a full time carer for a friend who had rapidly developed MS. And as a result, she was regularly suicidal, giving me many sleepless nights.
I don't say this to blow my own trumpet. I have also been an asshole to people who surprisingly became my good friends, despite the way I initially treated them. Those are some of the people who you should never take for granted… and I certainly don't now!
But having been witness to the depths of depression, despair, self loathing, feelings of worthlessness and even requests for me to apologise to their loved ones on their behalf, as they have already committed to their own self demise.
Now every single one of them is living a happy and fulfilling life!
I am very cautious about how I reach out for help and to whom. I have been suicidal many times, but I always reflect back to being an outsider and remember what I said to them and how helpless I often felt knowing that if I let my guard down for a second, the results could be catastrophic! I recall the thoughts that I had, wondering why they were at that stage, when I saw so much beauty and value in them.
I very rarely do reach out to friends. Partly because I don't want to be a burden. More significantly because I want our friendship to be a break (or distraction) from what's troubling me. And especially because I don't like talking verbally about my depression, so it’s generally just discussed via text message. Which is also why I don't gain much from therapy.
What I have found to be a good way of dealing with my rough times is using sites like Quora (but there's many other options), where I am basically anonymous. Nobody here knows me in my personal life, so I can talk freely about my problems through comments, questions, or answers. I haven't done much “talking” on Quora regarding this, but just reading through related questions and answers makes me realise that I don't have to do this alone.
If your friends aren't reliable in the way you need them to be, there's a whole world of good people who will take the time to listen, empathise with you and help you through these hard times. Complete strangers who genuinely care! Just find an outlet that you trust and you can choose to be anonymous if you want, where you have the freedom to be as open and honest as you wish. It may provide some reprieve, but it's just a suggestion that has helped me, without feeling like I need to involve my friends.
well this answer has a link with quora.
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