Why do you think most of a adolescents are experiencing in- congruence between the ideal self and actual self? How can one resolve it?
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Answer:
Real vs. Ideal Self
In psychology, the real self and the ideal self are terms used to describe personality domains. The real self is who we actually are. It is how we think, how we feel, look, and act. The real self can be seen by others, but because we have no way of truly knowing how others view us, the real self is our self-image.
The ideal self, on the other hand, is how we want to be. It is an idealized image that we have developed over time, based on what we have learned and experienced. The ideal self could include components of what our parents have taught us, what we admire in others, what our society promotes, and what we think is in our best interest.
The Importance Of Alignment
If the way that I am (the real self) is aligned with the way that I want to be (the ideal self), then I will feel a sense of mental well-being or peace of mind. If the way that I am is not aligned with how I want to be, the incongruence, or lack of alignment, will result in mental distress or anxiety. The greater the level of incongruence between the ideal self and real self, the greater the level of resulting distress. Let's take a look at some specific examples:
Example #1: My ideal self-image includes honesty
When my parents ask me why I was late coming home from a night out, and I am honest and tell them that I didn't want to leave the party because I was having such a great time, then despite the ramifications (like being reprimanded), I will feel a sense of mental well-being.
If I am dishonest and tell them that my car wouldn't start, then the misalignment between my real self and ideal self will result in mental distress or anxiety. The fact that I lied results in negative feelings.
Example #2: My ideal self-image includes a strong work ethic
If I attend all of my college classes, read the assignments, study for the exams, and work hard on my term paper, the result will be a grade that is in line with a strong work ethic. I will feel peace of mind regarding the congruence between my ideal self and real self.