why should life be treasured amidst confusion, fear, frustration, and pain especially during these hard times?
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Answer:
we have been taught that our emotions are bad, wrong, even evil or sinful. But every neurotypical human being has the full range of emotions.
You use negative comments towards your emotions e.g. "I feel I am bad" and you speak about their presence as if they make you into something other than the "good person at heart" that you have always thought yourself to be.
You are a perfect example of a human being - with all of your emotions.
Emotions are trying to tell us things - they are messengers from within - and we spend all our time shooting the messengers that we have decided are not acceptable to us. How can they deliver their vital message if every time we see them coming we run, stifle or try to kill them off?
Your emotions are coming to the fore because you have spent a lifetime making them wrong.
Your anger, like all human anger, is activated when you are present to a perceived natural injustice. Children are angry because they perceive injustice really very clearly indeed. It is adults that tell them that their anger is "bad", and the adults fail to engage with the information - THE PERCEIVED INJUSTICE. Anger gets there way before your conscious cognition does. So when you notice your anger, you have an opportunity not to make yourself wrong because it is there, nor do you need to strike out against the nearest person - you need to develop the skill of asking "what is the injustice" or "what threatens my thriving right now?" Sometimes it is a real threat to your thriving for example, when somebody is making demands on you that you have not agreed to meet, or when someone is hiding all the information from you so that you will agree, or when someone does not respect your right to say "no". These are examples of natural injustices. Sometimes it is an element of something in the present that activates something from your past - an injustice that remains unresolved. So, for example, I was often angry about the way my kids were treated at school - but actually they were fine - it reminded me of my terrible time at school, and I was interpreting some of what they told me through the frame of past injustices that I had experienced and been unable to resolve. That taught me SO much I cannot begin to tell you here.
To do this you will need a little help, because anger is a quick and dirty emotion - it grips you before you have time to reason about it - it is stimulated along a sub-cortical pathway before higher thought is possible.
You are frustrated because your unconscious essence is trying to express himself into the world, and you are incidentally consciously creating circumstances that block him. This is something you learned to do from a very young age - you learned it because people and circumstances blocked you from expressing your essence spontaneously and you had to put away your best energy and try to please everyone. Pleasing everyone is a full time job, and pleasing ones self seems to be left out or left until last.
So dear Hari Krishna - it is time for you to start to meet your needs so you can express what it is inside you that is being held back. Your unconscious unexpressed self wants to be realised - it is the real you - your consciousness has learned to fear it. That is the conflict. The little boy you once were knew exactly what wanted next, but he got distracted into pretending to be someone else. He needs a better parent - YOU. It is never too late to give yourself a happy childhood. So make a start - stop being hard on yourself and get on your side.
You can go to your doctor if you like, but this is almost certainly not a medical problem and drugs will not solve it, they will suppress the messengers and you may find yourself even more lost.
Find a therapist who can help you find out what your natural, human, inner messengers are trying to point out to you, and then get into action with what you learn. And stop thinking that emotions make you a bad person - they are normal and resisting them causes all sorts of unease.
Anger is energy-based information from within.
Violence is not anger, it is a course of action - anger and violence are not the same things.
Punishment is not anger. Punishment is an action, anger is energy-based information from within.
When you observe your anger say "Oh, I feel angry - that's interesting - what is the injustice my anger has spotted that I missed?"
Emotions are friends - what we choose to do with them makes all the difference.
I am happy to be angry - it helps me keep myself safe and promote things that help me to thrive. I am happy to be sad - it marks the loss of things and people who are important to my future - it helps me to reassess how I go about my life again without them.