Write a funny speech
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"Hi everyone,
I am so amazed and surprised at the turnout for this event - I feel like one of those people chosen for sacrifice and are honored with celebration before it!
I would like to take this opportunity to get as many bad jokes in as I can, so that everyone will feel immense relief at my leaving, so here are some I prepared earlier...
[pull out a very large sheet of paper with tiny writing so people get the impression it will be a very long speech - but it won't be, will it! Then add some bad jokes, for example:]
I.T. will be last remaining living organisms after the apocolypse - no, not even Finance will make it. Because I.T. have a cave/bunker.
I confess I cut the espresso coffee with instant - it was to make sure there were no redundancies. You're Welcome.
I sent out the April Fool's Day email! Haha! You never guessed!
How many light bulbs does this room have? All of you!
Hopefully this speech will put off anyone leaving as they will have this act to follow, very daunting (I'll get a kickback from HR when I walk out the door, maybe up the backside).
Anyway, my time here has felt very short, because it passed so quick, because I never had a bad day here. Some days were stressful, but they were never bad. I was glad to wake up in the morning and get high on donuts before facing the 9am meeting, I think that may have been a part of it. But it is true, I never had a bad day. Ok maybe this group may have been a part of that magic. Am I getting sentimental? Time for another bad joke [make a bad joke or pun].
Thank you for being here, and for being part of my life here - everyone has made a difference, especially the small kindnesses like:
[receptionist] letting me know when scary people were visiting
[HR person's] bright smile
[person] organising the weekly tipping competition
[person] bringing crumpets at break-time.
It's actually all the small things that add up to a wonderful community that we are. I'm sorry to leave. And so glad I've met you.
Thank you! [Deep bow]
I am so amazed and surprised at the turnout for this event - I feel like one of those people chosen for sacrifice and are honored with celebration before it!
I would like to take this opportunity to get as many bad jokes in as I can, so that everyone will feel immense relief at my leaving, so here are some I prepared earlier...
[pull out a very large sheet of paper with tiny writing so people get the impression it will be a very long speech - but it won't be, will it! Then add some bad jokes, for example:]
I.T. will be last remaining living organisms after the apocolypse - no, not even Finance will make it. Because I.T. have a cave/bunker.
I confess I cut the espresso coffee with instant - it was to make sure there were no redundancies. You're Welcome.
I sent out the April Fool's Day email! Haha! You never guessed!
How many light bulbs does this room have? All of you!
Hopefully this speech will put off anyone leaving as they will have this act to follow, very daunting (I'll get a kickback from HR when I walk out the door, maybe up the backside).
Anyway, my time here has felt very short, because it passed so quick, because I never had a bad day here. Some days were stressful, but they were never bad. I was glad to wake up in the morning and get high on donuts before facing the 9am meeting, I think that may have been a part of it. But it is true, I never had a bad day. Ok maybe this group may have been a part of that magic. Am I getting sentimental? Time for another bad joke [make a bad joke or pun].
Thank you for being here, and for being part of my life here - everyone has made a difference, especially the small kindnesses like:
[receptionist] letting me know when scary people were visiting
[HR person's] bright smile
[person] organising the weekly tipping competition
[person] bringing crumpets at break-time.
It's actually all the small things that add up to a wonderful community that we are. I'm sorry to leave. And so glad I've met you.
Thank you! [Deep bow]
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Helo mate here your ans
Many of us long to give a great funny speech.
We imagine ourselves being oh, so witty. We tell jokes effortlessly. We see our audience beam appreciatively, and hear them roar and snort with laughter in the places they're meant to. Of course the applause as we finish triumphantly is thunderous.
Sadly though, we really don't know how, or where to start to write, or deliver one.
Hope this ans help you...
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