write A letter to my dad wishing him happy birthday
Answers
Answer:
Yes! Here is your answer!
Explanation:
Thursday Sep. 20th, 2012
LOVISHA
Dearest Dad,
Your birthday is this week! What a joy it is to behold this splendiferous occasion! I foam at the mouth with glee at the anniversary of your glorious vaginal emergence! Tell me of a wish, father. A wish you’ve had for some time that I may fulfill on this lustrous eve! Tell me! Tell me your wishes at once! I will not rest until I’ve heard your most favorite wishes!
Sincerely,
Paul
Dear Son,
Lay off the drugs.
Sincerely,
Dad
My Very Dearest Father,
I am not high on drugs. I am high on life, the very life that your splendiferous ballsack produced! I only want to repay your sexual kindness to mother with a birthday gift, a small token of my appreciation for the disgusting act that led to my birthing. Tell me what to gift, and I shall gift it, father!
Sincerely,
Paul
Dear Son,
Well you can start by not talking like a poof. Then you can end by paying me back your entire college tuition in monthly installments.
Sincerely,
Dad
Hey Daddio,
Your sense of humor is so very resplendent! But speak to me earnestly; entrust in me your birthday wishes, and I shall bequeath them unto you, as if you were Aladdin and I were but a genie in a bottle.
Sincerely,
Paul
Dear Son,
1) I would like to be left alone.
2) I would like everyone to say happy birthday to me once, give me some plain chocolate cake without any weird stuff on it, and then shut up about it.
3) I would like to play golf, and then come home and watch golf on TV, and then fall asleep in my chair without any balloons, surprises or loud noises forced on me against my will.
Sincerely,
Dad
My dearest Pa,
Balloons, you say? I will provide a plethora of balloons! More balloons than the human eye can view comfortably in one sitting! I will invite all your relatives, especially the ones who only contact you to borrow money, and we will all force ourselves into your closet and lunge out at you like a rapist when you walk near! Then a switch will be thrown, releasing an avalanche of balloons and glitter from the ceiling! You’ll sparkle for weeks, no matter how many times you shower to remove it! And then we’ll each kiss you on the forehead individually, and sit down to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show, a film about a transvestite man.
HOPE IT HELPS. :)