Write a narrative essay on your experience of visiting an old friend whom you have met after a couple of years. Explain your entire experience and how you felt.
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For a while now I have been thinking about the way people come in and out of our lives. This isn’t an issue unique to grief, but it seems to come up a lot here in grief-land. When we experience a devastating loss, many dominos can fall. Sometimes friends disappear. Sometimes we isolate ourselves or alienate other people, even old friends who we love. Sometimes families have falling outs. Sometimes our priorities change and that means letting some people go. The reasons are endless.
Sometimes people disappear from our lives for reasons totally unrelated to grief. There are times when life gets busy, people move away, change jobs, have kids, and suddenly someone who meant a lot is no longer around. Whatever the reasons, sometimes we look around and realize that we just don’t have quite as much love and community as we used to or as we need. The pain of those people who have disappeared can feel even more intense when we’re grieving and really could use their love and support.
This morning I had breakfast with an old friend, a friend who goes back to college years. This is a person who just makes me feel good about life and humanity. He is a person who makes the world a better place, who makes me want to make the world a better place, and who reminds me what love, compassion, and community are all about. Before this morning I hadn’t seen him in a few years. I would like to say that we got together because I was thoughtful and self-aware about how much I missed having him in my life, so reached out. But that isn’t what happened. I saw him because I ran into his mom and step-dad. I know, lame. That chance encounter led to a text and a call and ultimately a breakfast where we both talked about how excited we were to see one another, to collaborate to help people grieving here in Baltimore, and to spend some time together again.