Question

write a short notes on the origins and history of mother-in-law x daughter-in-law battle​

Answer 1

It’s almost like a power struggle.

Mother in Law’s Point of View:

You’re with her son. That’s all it takes. You’re with someone who she gave birth to, raised, loved, clothed, fed, put through school. Watched them grow. That’s HER son.

So, when you get with their son, start dating, become engaged, get married, power struggles begin. The Mother in Law will begin to feel as though her son has been taken away from her. It really boils down to jealousy. She is jealous of the fact that another woman has the attention of her son. She feels 2nd place. She will feel as though she has to compete for the attention of her son. She will show up unannounced at your home, no warning. She’ll give the excuse that “she was in the area, wanted to drop by”, and she will continue to do this, as “she is the mom, so she can do whatever she wants.” No rules apply to the mother in law. She believes she should be put on a pedestal because she is the mom. She may try to turn her son away from the wife, by criticizing her parenting, cleaning, cooking, etc. Might make fun of looks. Use her grandchildren as a means of manipulation. Purposely leave daughter in law out of social events. Tell secrets behind close doors. Demand to know personal information about daughter in law and son’s relationship (intimacy, love, finances, etc). Crossing boundaries so that she stays in the loop. Talk about how an ex of her son was far better than her daughter in law.

Daughter In Law’s Point of View:

To the daughter in law, her husband, their family (household) comes first. Daughter in law believes that SHE comes first in her husband’s eyes. A lot of how husband behaves will determine how the daughter in law acts as well. If the husband allows his mom to show up unannounced, get meals made for him by his mom every day, lets his mom do whatever the heck she wants, then the daughter and law will feel hurt. She may feel jealous that her husband is giving more attention to his mom, rather than to her and their household (children, etc). Daughter in law will no doubt voice her concerns to her husband about mother in law’s behavior. If the husband sees the issues as troubling, he will most likely address it with his mother, being firm yet still loving. If the husband has no backbone, he will take up for his mom, dismiss his wife or downplay her emotions and feelings. If the husband does not put his mom in his place, the wife will begin to feel hate and contempt for her mother in law. She too, will also feel that she is fighting for the affection and admiration of his love. However, the wife may feel conflicted, more so than the mother in law.

Reason is, that the mother in law is the mother of the husband. That will never change. Regardless of if the marriage dissolves between a wife and husband, mommy will always be there. So, daughters in law often times put up with this struggle, as she doesn’t want to cause a rift in the relationship between a mother and son.

Of course, not all family dynamics follow this pattern. There are plenty of stories where married folk absolutely adore their in laws, and vice versa. But, from what I have been through and witnessed, these are just some examples of typical behaviors.

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Answer 2

Answer:

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