write an essay on if u were the last person on earth
Answers
Holy! Was there a world war, or a second Black Death, or did Donald Trump kill off the whole world except me with his orangey- and blobfish-like presence? Or did some of those cringey musical.ly stars poison the entire world by acting inappropriately and thinking the world of themselves? Wait, it could even be global warming (I told you, save the environment or prepare for doomsday!).
I think the latter three scenarios would be the most likely ones. But anyway, if I were the last person on Earth, there’d be a high chance of me dying like everyone else did, so I’d leave something behind as proof or evidence of what happened to us. This would help any aliens or future organisms solve the mystery of how humans vanished from the face of the Earth. I would record my thoughts and views on the important events or people who caused this devastation on tape and make several copies.
I would also scatter hints around Earth and leave clues, along with a map of important places, to help future investigators understand what caused our extinction (but I’d make sure only smart couch potatoes like me would be able to solve this).
I’d also write a letter, something like: “Ooh, where you from? Must be heaven! Or another planet because every person just died, probably because of Trump Phobia (thanks, Fifth Harmony!).” I’d tell them how advanced humans were. I mean, we invented #throwbackthursdays and we were so #tumblr, dude.
Those tapes would be sent everywhere, until the right person / creature figured it out. Then I would also become famous because of my contributions to history (who knows, maybe a super-hot alien would fall in love with me, jkjk).
I credit my tape idea to 13 Reasons Why ... but who can blame me, right? That show’s only downside is that you can finish it in like one day.
That’s probably why we became extinct. The show was just too short. Ahh, it’s all your fault, 13 Reasons Why. And to the people who caused the extinction, don’t go all Biebs on me and ask me “Is it too late now to say sorry?”, because if you’re hearing this tape, it really is.
DUN-DUN-DUNN!