11. Why did the grandmother shout?
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Answer:
kis chapter ka hai.........,?
Answer:
First of all, I’m really sorry this is happening to you. No one should yell at you, EVEN if you were to do something wrong. There is ALWAYS a way to talk calmly and insightfully about problems, and work as a team towards a satisfying resolution of the problem. You have the right to be taken seriously and be part of a discussion. People shouldn’t treat you as a doormat.
Now, on why she would treat you that way, there are many possible reasons.
1 - She could be angry/frustrated about her own condition ( Can she do what she wants ? IE : Can she walk around easily ? Does she have money to buy herself things she wants ? Can she make decisions around the house ? etc) and taking it out on you (which isn’t acceptable !).
2 - She wants a feeling of importance ( a good read is “how to win friends and influence people by ) that she isn’t getting (are people in the house asking her about her day ? how she feels ? what she’s been up to ? etc) so she is resorting to getting her feeling of importance by getting negative attention from you (ie : making you feel bad and cry. again this is not an acceptable strategy from her, and you shouldn’t be put through this abuse -which this is-.)
3 - She was never loved unconditionally, so she is unable to give you unconditional love. (the best insight I got on twhat unconditonal means is reading the book “ unconditional parenting” by alfie kohn). She might see you do something that doesn’t reflect her belief system/the way she thinks things should be done right, so she inflicts the same type of punishments to you than what she was inflicted on as a kid. (one again, this does NOT justify the way she is treating you is ok. this is just to try to see what could be going on in her head)
4 - she could also be suffering from a disorder… yelling at you until you cry is showing she has lack of social skills to say the least ( even though you cry, she doesn’t take it seriously and doesn’t seem to understand you are hurt. best case scenario she lacks empathy -cant connect/understand your feelings-, worst case scenario, she is sadistic - meaning she enjoys inflicting emotional pain-)
I can see it’s important for you to try to understand her (or else you wouldn't be asking this question !) but it’s also important for you to understand yourself and your own needs. :)
Try to reach out to friends/other family members/coworkers, and ask them for support. If you don’t feel safe with your social circles, I would completely recommend joining online communites ( like these in quora) or anonymous communities like CoDA for you to have a safe space to open up and ask for help :)
and if you don’t feel safe doing any of that, you can try reading “non violent communication” by Marshall Rosenberg……
Hope this helps ! <3
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