A story on a family during quarantine
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Explanation:
AUTOBIOGRAPHY :
As unsettling as Covid-19 has been, I cannot help but look at how all these opportunities we signed our children up for to help develop their bodies and minds have kept us from spending simple Saturdays as a family.
And I’m not only spending more time with my children, I’m also spending more time with my wife. With no school, no activities, no church obligations, no running to the store, Mel and I find ourselves going on long drives again, like the old days. Sometimes we walk the dog, eat meals together or watch movies. Before the virus locked down the country, it felt like we were two workers on opposite shifts, managing the same project of raising a family, but almost never working in the same room.
I’ll admit, there is beauty in a well-coordinated marriage where all obligations are handled, and for years I’ve taken pride in how effectively Mel and I manage so much by working together. But at the same time, I’ve missed working alongside my wife instead of handing off duties as we head in separate directions. Now, with our obligations pared down significantly, it’s been pretty wonderful having her at my side again.
Listen, I don’t want to downplay how much this pandemic has hurt the world. I’ve never felt so much uncertainty in my whole life. People are losing family members and friends, along with their livelihoods. And don’t even get me started on the sickening uptick in domestic violence going on worldwide.
Honestly, I’ve been an anxious mess ever since the world changed, just waiting for the inevitable layoffs to be announced at the university I work for, and the school where my wife teaches. Although Mel and I both work in education, it’s clear we were never meant to home-school our children, because all of that has been a pile of frustration at our house. I cannot wait to get our three procrastinators back into school, and the world spinning the way it used to.
But I’ve had more time to reflect on my family and our obligations than ever before, and it’s only now that the activities we used to fuss over have been stripped away that I’m starting to rethink how much of it is necessary.
I’m rethinking how much time Mel and I should’ve been dedicating to our marriage all along, and I’m realizing how much I missed the simplicity we had before children, when we had nothing more pressing to do than go for a drive.
So in this moment of reflection, I’m taking an accounting of what our children really need to grow into well-rounded, responsible adults with active bodies and brains, and what we might have been missing as a family because of trying to do too much. Perhaps what we really needed all along was less on our plates and more time with one another.