Can you tell? What would you have done in theses situations?
Answers
Explanation:
I haven’t been in the exact same situation as you, but there have been many similar such situations that I have been in, and so I can empathize with you and understand your turmoil.
Perhaps this was the first time you were groped in a public space, becaue when a similar incident happened to me for the the first time, I froze too.
I was 16-17. While travelling home from classes, I was offered a seat by a young man in an over-crowded bus which I accepted. As soon as I sat down, I felt the man lean on me, and soon I felt something weird rubbing against my shoulder. I realized it was his arousal and I froze.
I did not know what to do or how to react. It took me a minute or 2 to snap out, but being a naive child who had never faced any physical harassment till that point, all I did was move a little forward.
It did not help, any direction I moved to get away from the man, he leaned in further in that direction.
Initially I gave him the benefit of doubt because the bus was over-crowded. But after about 10–15 minutes, I noticed the bus was quite empty and he still was leaning inappropriately on me, rubbing his arousal back and forth, on my shoulder.
I snapped and turned around angrily about to shout, but as soon as he saw my angry face, he ran backwards and got down from the slowing bus.
I breathed relief, but was controlling my tears because I was distraught. The old man next to me turned towards me at that point asked me if the young man had misbehaved with me. With glistened eyes, I nodded.
The old man gave me a piece of advice that I follow to date -
Never quietly bear any such behaviour from a stranger. Raise your voice.
Other people around you may not support you, but do not back down.
If in a bus, call for the conductor. It would be highly recommended to speak in Marathi (or local language) if you can; you might get some support then.
People like that young man look for victims who silently bear the assault. They are afraid of confrontation. So even though public won’t support you, people like him will back off once they realize they messed up with the wrong person.
Since that day, I have never let any misbehaving idiot get away with his assault. I have shouted down at him, be it a young boy or an old man.
I have been called names in return too, and have not received any support from the co passengers most of the times, but I have raised my voice nonetheless. It has helped me.
So, in such a scenario, I’d:
Try to note the license plate number of the vehicle, and to snap a photo.
Shout and abuse the molester, and create a ruckus, esopecially if it helps to gather a crowd and stop the leeches.
File a complaint at the policestation.
Report the incident and info on social media.
And accordingly the advice that I have for you is to:
Never ever freeze in future.
If the same situation arises again, note down the bike number and file a complaint in the nearest police station. In fact, have the Police helpline on speed dial.
Also post the info on social media; every local police have their FB page, twitter handle; use those.
Shout out loud, gather a crowd, create a ruckus.
Make people aware of such creeps, so that if they aren’t on a bike/car/Auto, they can be caught and thrashed by the crowd.
Snap a photo of the creeps if you can and again use social media to shame them.
Always carry a pepper spray. You never know when you might need it.
Finally, accept the fact that it is not your fault, and that your first reaction is normal.
Unfortunately, we live in a skewed world.
So, build your inner strength to fight everyone who is a maniac and thinks they have the right to manhandle you.
Be happy!