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Recently, I was speaking to an old friend. We were reminiscing about the past and talking about all the good times we once had. But we also talked about some of the bad times. We had started a software company together when I was fresh out of college. And like any other two wild-eyed entrepreneurs, we had our sights set on success no matter what the costs.
We worked tirelessly. But with little knowledge of sales and marketing at the time, although we had a great product, we had no idea how to run a company. So we eventually failed. I still remember when we had to fire all the employees and my old friend, Alex, who did the firing, had tears streaming from his eyes. To say that we were both devastated is an understatement.
In our conversation, we talked about going back in time and what we would do differently. We talked about how we would have managed the employees better, where we would have spent our advertising dollars, and how we would have enhanced the sales cycle. As we were talking about it, something really dawned on me.
The truth? I would never want to go back in time and do things differently. No matter what. I would never want to undo my failures, as much as they hurt me. I would never want to unwind the clock and try to skip past the painful moments or try to live a perfect life because it’s my failures that have shaped and molded me the most. Not my successes.
Sure, success is great. It’s an exhilarating feeling to be on top of the world. But that doesn’t define you. In fact, if you’re anything like me, and you experienced some big successes early on in life, you know that the rollercoaster ride is pretty turbulent on the way down. Especially after you’ve succeeded at a high level, failure is brutally painful.
I’m not just talking about the embarrassment of failure. Sure, that’s gut-wrenching. I’m talking about going from having all the money and friends you could want, to having nothing and realizing that everyone was simply there to enjoy the ride. It really helps you come to some powerful realizations about life, love, the world and the people around you.
I experienced that. Numerous times over. Success to failure. Failure to success. Rinse. And repeat. But eventually I figured it out. I figured out what I was doing wrong. I figured out why I would succeed for a brief period, then fail. But I would have never figured it out had I not failed. I also would never have learned some of the most important lessons in life without those failures.