Expectations is a gift, not a burden. state your views on the statement
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I got this beautiful message on Whatsapp and it generated conflicting reactions in my mind. On forwarding it to one of my groups, it created a very interesting debate.
Note that we are taking of both issues here, Expectation of others on us and our expectations from others.
One reaction was "True! But people always misunderstand"
Though I said that it is a beautiful quote, it created a conflict as mostly all the philosophical quotes we come across, all the scriptures says :-
“Expectations are root cause of Unhappiness"!
But we still expect!
The quote explains the reason as to why we expect! That’s the beauty of it.
2) “Every relationship has expectations in some form or the other”
3) “The basic expectation is to be respected and loved.”
4) “It depends upon your core emotional need. Every individual has an emotional need and the person behaves, takes action as per that need. So, it's not expectations but it's to satisfy that need, one behaves.
Now, it depends on an individual how many sources he/she has to satisfy that emotional need.”
5) Some relations are unique! Beyond expectations!
6) “When a relation is so much for you that you can't go away from it after some time expectations at some limit automatically occur. Sometimes you don't even know that this kind of behaviour is called expectation. True it depends on your individual relation.”
7) “Expectation is not considered negative. It is an individual who relates to it. For example, I expect certain behaviour from my child and when it is not fulfilled, I have a choice. Whether I should feel bad/upset about it or I accept and work towards it. I may let the child know. Expectations is about self. It's the peace that you have within. Every single time, you have a choice in life.
8) “Only too much expectations and it's over reactions bring pain.”
9) “When somebody expects something from me I consider myself lucky. Be it friendship or companionship or help or anything.”
10) “If someone says he or she has no expectation from anybody for me he or she is a great snob. We are human not Saint.”
The last one hit the nail. We are normal human! We feel. We Love. We Care.
Don’t we all expect something from all relationship? Yes, we do.
When we expect, we are happy when we receive, but sad when expectations aren’t fulfilled.
Need V/s. Fulfilment!
Our needs are many types – Emotional, Companionship, Being there, Love are the main needs which play on our mind in any relationship.
In a Relationship, be it Spouse, Friend, Colleagues, Parents, Children, etc doesn’t matter, the need is there in all.
When this needs aren’t fulfilled, it creates a sense of unhappiness in relationship.
The mind starts on the negative spiral by thinking-
“He/She isn’t doing this and that.”
“It is his/her responsibility but not fulfilling same.”
“Why is he failing in his/her duties?”
“I do so much for him/her, why doesn’t it get reciprocated?”
This is when the “Expectations” becomes a burden.
The non-fulfilment of expectations is a burden because our mind sees it as non-reciprocal of our doing something for that person.
Here the philosophy should kick in and say that “It’s OK!” There must be a reason as to why the person didn’t live up to MY expectation. Look for what they DO for you instead of what they DON”T DO for you.
*It is a gift which we receive every day from our near and dear ones. Every small thing they do for us is a Gife. Only that we do not notice it.
*We should learn to notice this small things. Have gratitude towards that person. Thank them for whatever, big or small, things they do for you.
*More importantly, be the Gift give! We know that the opposite party also expects something from us. Fulfil that expectation, Give the Gift of Love, Gratitude, Be there, Let go of small issues, etc. etc.
*After all, it is us who have given them reasons to believe that we will do something for them. Every relationship is based on some give and take. It can be again anything – Love, Companionship, Being there, talking & taking care!
*Let us be person who gives the Gift of fulfilling expectation of our loved ones. Do whatever is possible. Reduce the burden of our counterparts. After all it is we who have made them believe that we will do it!
*It is also said that “True friendship is a GIFT that is given without expectation of anything in return, instead the reward is the Friendship itself”.
*As commented by one of the debater above, consider yourself lucky that you have people in your life who expects something from you
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