Question

Explain "My button is bigger than yours"

Answer 1

to start the year, our president bragged that he has a “much bigger” nuclear button than the guy in North Korea.

Coming next week: Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un compare finger length, shoe and head size. That last is complicated by the fact that they have what are two of the worst government-leader haircuts in history. Honestly, you’d think Kim had executed every barber in his country.

If it wasn’t for the exploding-planet aspect of all this, it’d be sort of funny. We have here two very silly egomaniacs. Kim’s government claims that he learned to drive when he was 3 and that he makes breakthrough medical discoveries in the treatment of cancer in his spare time.

Meanwhile on our side, Trump recently gave himself credit for ending commercial airplane fatalities. (“Since taking office I have been very strict on Commercial Aviation.”) The White House — which spends its entire life explaining why the last crazy tweet wasn’t all that crazy — claimed this was due to the president’s “initiative to modernize air traffic control,” a proposal that was never passed into law. Also, the Federal Aviation Administration, which is in charge of air safety, is run by an Obama appointee.