Question

How do indian women take care of their parents after marriage?

Answer 1

Every girl in India is forced to leave their parents after marriage. The more detached she is from her own parents more loyal and gentle she is considered by inlaws and society. And she gets full support and love in new family.

What I don’t understand is-

Are the parents of girls not parents? (They are not even given the status of parents in society)

How can a full set of society forget their right and need to get love and support?

Question is till when? Who will put an end to such biased thinking?

It has to be us “the new gen girls” who are unbiased, informed, open minded, just and courageous.

And all we need to do is just Ignore and un-follow these rotten rules of society and follow our heart and mind.

How can we forget our parents who brought us in world, who gave us so much love and support all our life. Who made us educated and wise. Who always stood with us in all ups and downs. Who taught us to be independent and fearless.

Before anyone else (I am specially referring to inlaws) our own parents deserve our love, support and they should always be our first priority.

I am not saying that this gives us liberty to illtreat the inlaws, yes ofcourse we are there to help and support them,

But they should be the first priority of their own sons and daughters. Incase they fail then we are there, but not on cost of ignoring our parents.

We can make others happy only when we ourselves are happy and content.

“Men who expect their wife to behave as daughter (not as daughter in law) in his family, must first start behaving as son in wives family”

Answer 2

You have got not only moral duty but also legal duty towards your parents, even after you got married. The Senior citizens' maintenance Act imposes such responsibility on daughters, who are class I heirs ( you have already clarified that you have no brothers). Going to the provisions of the said Act clearly imposes such an obligation on the children. If your husband is trying to stop you to do your legal duty, he is doing illegal and unjustified act. In the male dominated society, the male section of the society interpret the law in their favour. After marriage, a wife cannot become a milching cow to the husband and his parents. But in most traditional families, they think so. There is no mention in any provision of HMA that which is the matrimonial home. Even then husband bringing in the old and archaic traditions,as they are favourable to husbands, says that his house is matrimonial home and his parents are his wife's parents, but he does not have any thing to do with the parents of the wife, whether they are indigent, sick and old and helpless expecting some love and care from their beloved daughter. Quite often you see, that husband complains that wife's parents' too much intervention ruined his matrimonial life, but ignores his own parents' interference in his matrimonial life. Wife is not an object, nor immovable nor movable property, which (read she) can be in the custody of the parents till marriage and her custodial rights go to husband and his parents. She is a living human being having her own respirations, perspirations and inspirations. Just like man, she has her own identity in the natal home as well as husband's (I am not saying matrimonial) home.

Try to explain your husband about a daughter's love towards her parents, irrespective of her matrimonial status. If he understands, it is O.K. Otherwise provide financial help to them and arrange a maid to them to help them in distress conditions. If your husband does not permit even this much of assistance, he is not worth to be called a human being. I leave the option to you by ending this post by saying that you have got moral as well as legal duty towards your parents, despite your marital status.