in the poem when i was growing up what, according to nellie wong, is the key to a better world?*
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When I Was Growing Up is a poem by the famous Chinese American writer Nellie Wong, who is best known for her themes of feminism and identity. This poem is autobiographical and at the same time, it represents the plight of all women immigrants in America. It talks about the writer’s past and her journey from childhood to adolescence. With each passing stanza, there is a progression of time, attitude and outlook.
The poem opens with the thoughts of a young girl who wishes to disown her identity and culture and tries to fit into the dominant white majority. She talks about the discrimination that she faced because of her appearance and colour and expresses her desire to be like the fair, blonde, sensuous, desirable American woman. The discrimination was so evident that she started believing in her own darkness and began wearing imaginary pale skin. She says that in spite of having a good command over the American language and American lifestyle, she was still un-American. She recollects the memory of being selected by a white man, with happiness. She says that it made her feel special and precious. She started believing that she represents the Eastern beauty.
She compares her own people, i.e. Chinese men in particular and men from the East in general to the white men and feels that the former is inferior to the latter in all aspects. She says that she is ashamed of her people for their uncultured ways and habits. She then moves on to talk about the insensitivity of people who take her identity for granted. They call her Portuguese, Polynesian and Philippines without the slightest concern for her feelings. All these lead to a major shift in the poet’s attitude and tone. She understands that
however hard she may try, she is always ‘the other’ for the whites. She accepts her ethnic identity and breaks the American stereotype of beauty. She yearns to run to her homeland
where she can breathe freely and be her own self.
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