Is this letter written so badly that it just deserves 4/8 marks? If not, how much does it deserve and weeks improvements can be made in it?
Answers
Answer:
it deserved 6.5
Explanation:
English focuses on handwriting so improve your handwriting although it's way better than mine
you need to write a little more in writing sections
Amount of content in this question is perfect according to 8 marker question.
Yet it lacks the grammatical perfection that your teacher want you to achieve.
Format of letter is well and good. but remember when you are writing formal letter then you dont use "dear sir" or these type of greeting words it just takes out the seriousness of situation you should have rather used "Respected Sir" that just brings sense of realism and seriousness in your Letter and examiner will be greeted to see it.
Paragraph wise it's good. actually when it 8 to 10 mark letter then we write 3 paragraphs and when its 5 mark question then we write 2 paragraphs that's general rule of thumb.
In first paragraph you make the person aware of the situation which you want to discuss.
In second paragraph you make the person Understand the problem faced by you and your colleagues.
In third you request the person to solve your problem.
According to this general rule of thumb you answer is correct.
And at last you sign off by greeting and writing you name.
So, according to me this letter could have got 6.5/8 as format of letter is correct and you have made the person aware of the situation.
Maybe, your teacher did bit strict marking so you could be better version of yourself in next exams.
when I was in class 10th teachers did very strict marking in preboards so we would get less marks.that would make us feel that we didn't know anything, hence we studied more and more that certainly made us clear Board exams with Shining Colors.
You can grammatically correct yourself and use "Respected sir" instead of "dear sir"
Hope it helps.