Manner of living where some ways are now unbecoming
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I recently watched two senior professionals debate a topic. As I did so, I paid most attention to how each went about communicating their case and perspective. The more I watched, the more turned off I found myself to be at the language used, the nonverbal messages sent and the lack of generosity and respect I would have expected from those we call leaders.
I assessed the behavior of each to be rather unbecoming. "Unbecoming. What a curious word!" I thought. "What does it even mean when we say someone is unbecoming?"
If we are behaving in ways that are unbecoming, it must mean we are detracting from who we could be in this moment and, therefore, from our own potential and all we might become. It must mean there is a different and higher path available for us.
As I reflected further on the behavior I witnessed, I thought about my own actions and asked myself, "When am I unbecoming?"
I am unbecoming when I speak ill of others. I know this because I can feel it. It just feels wrong to speak poorly of another. However subtle or benign it may be, I always end up feeling ashamed of myself for not being a stronger and better person. It begs the question: Why am I not having this conversation with the person I am speaking about?