mate selection observed by you in your family and surrounding and its advantages and disadvantages
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Research on mate selection rarely considers singles’ preferences for their future partners’ family configurations and experiences. Using online dating records from a major matchmaking agency in Japan, a society with a strong emphasis on family and kinship, we examine how singles’ responses to date requests correspond to potential mates’ family circumstances. Results from fixed-effects logit models are consistent with the argument that singles’ preferences for potential partners’ family characteristics stem from both a concern about future obligations toward the partner’s family and stereotypes associated with certain family traits. Singles, for example, are less likely to accept requests from those from large families, which are seen as traditional. Being from a large family nevertheless hampers individuals’ dating chances considerably more if they are firstborn and have no brothers, two conditions that make them the designated child to care for elderly parents. We also find that Japanese singles largely seek partners with more of the universally valued family traits, rather than traits similar to their own.
Keywords: Asian/Pacific Islander, dating, elder care, family structure, mate selection, siblings
Research shows that with whom individuals form families has important consequences for their and their children’s long-term wellbeing (Schwartz, 2013). The question of how individuals select mates is therefore critical to our understanding of social inequality. Most studies of mate selection patterns focus on singles’ preferences related to race/ethnicity, religion, and socioeconomic status (Blossfeld, 2009; Kalmijn, 1994, 1998; Rosenfeld, 2005). Individuals, however, also likely have other preferences when selecting mates. In particular, because marriage requires people to establish ties with and develop obligations toward their partner’s family members, they likely take the potential partner’s family attributes into account in mate selection. Singles, for example, tend to find those with a child from a prior union less desirable (Goldscheider & Kaufman, 2006; Goldscheider & Sassler, 2006; South, 1991). Singles may similarly have preferences for their mates’ natal family compositions (Kojima, 1994; Yu, Su, & Chiu, 2012). Because certain family traits, such as having no siblings, signal a greater future care obligation toward elderly parents, they may make one less attractive to potential mates, especially in societies where married children are strongly expected to support their aging parents.
Although understanding how singles’ family characteristics create advantages or disadvantages in mating can shed light on the process through which people with different family configurations and experiences diverge in their long-term wellbeing, very few studies directly address preferences for the partner’s family characteristics. The closest is research on how sibship traits affect individuals’ paces of transitions to marriage (Michael & Tuma, 1985; Yu et al., 2012). Such research, however, cannot differentiate consequences of these traits on singles’ eagerness to marry from their effects on attractiveness in the marriage market. Being the eldest son in Japan, for example, is thought to decrease a man’s appeal because of the cultural expectation for this son to coreside with his parents after marriage (Kojima, 1993, 1994; Yasuda et al., 2011). Nevertheless, men with this sibship position may also feel more parental pressure to continue the family line and hence put more effort into finding mates (Yu et al., 2012). Separating these two processes is not feasible in an analysis of marriage transitions.
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