spare the rod and spoil the child counter view
Answers
Thanks for asking Aroni. I am an asian where hitting a kid isn't unusual. Our previous generation has done it royally and we don't seem to have grudges about it. It's getting a lot better with this generation though. I turned out to be a firm believer of being non-violent with kids. I have my reasons:
1. We are humans - A living creature uses his hands to communicate when he's unable to speak. Animals do that, accepted. We human beings are gifted with brain and the capability to speak. If parents can't convince their kids for something and eventually hit them, I see an utter failure of parents here.
2. Logical Reasoning - There are better ways to discipline a kid. Parents think that kids don't understand. Trust me, they understand a lot more than we can imagine. Treat them like adults. Give them reason. You would be amazed to see how understanding they are. I have a hyper-energetic son, literally runs around all the time, shows eating tantrums too. What I do is tell him the same thing repeatedly without loosing patience. He drives me nuts sometimes and those days I tell him that I'm not gonna play with you or no story time because you are not listening to mumma, no dessert because dinner is not done yet. No playtime unless cleanup is done. Believe me, these things do work.
3. Tough days - There was a phase where my son used to hit us if he was denied something. I won't say that it wasn't difficult to keep myself calm but what I did was ask him to sit in a corner, no one talks to him, he can't play with his toys. This is his scariest punishment and it works like wonders on him. I don't remember lasttime when he hit anybody.
4. Emotional Reasoning - Emotional statements like if you do this, it's gonna hurt me. I am gonna be sad, it's not nice make them more understanding and considerate rather than hitting as a reaction for something.
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hopes this helps...
Counter views for the statement are written below -
The proverb 'spare the rod and spoil the child', means that it is important to punish a child if they are wrong, else their development will suffer.
Counter points are -
Times have developed, so do the children and parents. Now a days, it is very unpopular belief to beat or punish a child if they are wrong. Children not only feel insulted, but revert back with more aggression.
Children find it difficult to share their views, their guilt with parents if, they are scolded on confession. On the contrary, children want friends in their parents. They want to be understood, and explained about their wrongdoings rather than being scolded or punished.
It is important to politely explain children about what and how they did wrong. Even it should be asked politely, about what made them commit the sin, or who provoked them. Children should be taught moral values, and the same should be practiced at home as well.
The better way of developing the child, mentally and emotionally is explanation, rather than beating or punishing.