Question

What advice would give to our friend who has been suffering from domestic violence ?

Answer 1

If you would like to support a friend or family member experiencing domestic violence then follow the following tips:

1) Listen: Find a quiet place where you can talk safely and listen to her. This is one of the most important things you can do. Remember that they are confiding a secret matter in you.

2) Believe: Do not deny the abuse and do not judge them. Show your support no matter what they decide to do about their relationship.

3) Respect them: Show honour your friend that you respect her capability to handle this situation

4) Respect their feelings: In cases of domestic violence, victims need their feelings validated. To ignore the abuse and sweep it under the rug is wrong is a crime.

5) Do not advise: You should not advise, especially when your friend confides her grief first to you. The best thing to do is to help your friend reach their own decisions about what to do and when to do it. Help them identify their own options and consequences which might follow.

6) Tell them they are innocence: This is important because blame is how the abuser often justifies the abuse. Let her know that no one has the right to abuse another. Tell her about your knowledge you have learned about spousal violence and cycle of violence.

7) Discuss Safety: Talk to your friend about shelters and other safe places. Inform her about NGOS’ who provide free legal advise to such cases. Discuss how to obtain their services.

8) Encourage them to seek help: Accompany them if they need your help. Provide support to places like shelters, legal aid, etc.

9) Do NOT speak to the partner: This is a big no-no and can worsen the situation.

10) Keep in contact with them: One of the things abusers do is isolate the victim from family and friends. Keep in contact with your friend as much as possible, by phone or e-mail at least, to ensure that she has a link with the outside world.
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