what advice would you give to your friend who has been suffering from domestic violence?
Answers
If you would like to support a friend or family member experiencing domestic violence then follow the following tips:
1) Listen: Find a quiet place where you can talk safely and listen to her. This is one of the most important things you can do. Remember that they are confiding a secret matter in you.
2) Believe: Do not deny the abuse and do not judge them. Show your support no matter what they decide to do about their relationship.
3) Respect them: Show honour your friend that you respect her capability to handle this situation
4) Respect their feelings: In cases of domestic violence, victims need their feelings validated. To ignore the abuse and sweep it under the rug is wrong is a crime.
5) Do not advise: You should not advise, especially when your friend confides her grief first to you. The best thing to do is to help your friend reach their own decisions about what to do and when to do it. Help them identify their own options and consequences which might follow.
6) Tell them they are innocence: This is important because blame is how the abuser often justifies the abuse. Let her know that no one has the right to abuse another. Tell her about your knowledge you have learned about spousal violence and cycle of violence.
7) Discuss Safety: Talk to your friend about shelters and other safe places. Inform her about NGOS’ who provide free legal advise to such cases. Discuss how to obtain their services.
8) Encourage them to seek help: Accompany them if they need your help. Provide support to places like shelters, legal aid, etc.
9) Do NOT speak to the partner: This is a big no-no and can worsen the situation.
10) Keep in contact with them: One of the things abusers do is isolate the victim from family and friends. Keep in contact with your friend as much as possible, by phone or e-mail at least, to ensure that she has a link with the outside world.
The following are some ways to approach a friend suffering from domestic violence:
- Decide on a time to speak: Make an effort to ensure that you have privacy and won't be disturbed or distracted. If at all feasible, go see your loved one in person.
- Tell them you're worried about her security: Aid them in realizing that abuse is bad. They can delay their response, act aggressively, or even claim the abuse was not directed at them. Let them know you're willing to support her no matter what choice they make and that you want to be there for them.
- Be encouraging: Pay attention to your loved one. Inform them that you are here to support them and that they are not alone.
- Give specific assistance: You could offer to simply listen to them, assist them with child care, or even provide transportation.
- Don't make them feel guilty, ashamed, or blamed: Tell her that you are aware of how challenging her circumstance is.
- Make a safety plan with them: Packing essentials and assisting them in coming up with a "safe" word are two examples of safety planning. They can use this code word to alert you to their peril while keeping their abuser in the dark. It can also entail deciding where to meet them if they need to leave right away.
- Encourage them to speak with a helpful person: Offer to assist them in locating a local domestic violence organization. Encourage her to accompany you to the office, the police, or the court. The AKS Crisis Line (8793088814) is accessible every day of the week, 24 hours a day. They can direct you toward local support and services and provide advice based on their experience.
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