who ever will write the most positive reply for my broken life i will mark him/her
Answers
You are not broken
“You know, maybe there’s very good reason you are accommodating”, I said to my client. With an abrupt, edgy tone, she replied, “Yeah, it’s because I’m broken.”
It’s usually in the first session that I tell my clients they are not broken. They don’t have a “personality defect”. This often is received with some level of relief. “Well, then what’s wrong with me?”
My clients are traumatized, and for good reason given what they experienced when young.
That “normal” household where your father was emotionally absent, like so many other fathers, unable or unwilling to connect to his child. That “normal” household where your mom drank a lot, sometimes passed out on the kitchen table. That “normal” household where your dad and mom fought regularly, keeping you up late at night, afraid. That “normal” household where you were chased with a wooden spoon, or worse. That “normal” household where your mother used to say, “Wait till dad gets home”, leaving you terrified, even if you pretended not to be. That “normal” household where your dad’s intense eyes scared you so, even if he didn’t physically act on his fury. That “normal” household where your mom was so often anxious and your dad unavailable because he was busy… and you left alone, again.
That “normal” school where you were forced to learn things that were developmentally inappropriate and against your will. That “normal” school where you were made to sit hours upon hours on a hard seat, scolded by your teacher for fidgeting or daydreaming. That “normal” school where you were systematically ranked, graded, compared, taught to feel that you were less than. That “normal” school where your creativity could not shine because the left brain institution prioritized academic pursuits (and was afraid of its own right brain imagination). That “normal” school where you were picked on, bullied, and had no one to protect you… and you had no one to talk about it with at home.
And what about how stressed your mother was when you were in utero; what she drank, smoke, ate; what her relationships were like; how much emotional support she had; how safe she felt in her body? And what about your birth? How traumatic was it? How quickly did they cut the umbilical cord? Were you put in an incubator without physical contact? Were you circumcised and without an anesthetic?
Explanation: