why do you think kisa gotami understood this only the second time?
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Answer:
It was only the second time when Kisa Gotami understood the fact that death is common to all and is integral to the life cycle. She also realized the fact that she was being selfish in her grief. Actually the second time she found that there was not even a single house where some beloved had not died.
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Kisa Gotami understood the truth about death because the first time she was overwhelmed by the feeling of loss due to the death of her son. She was not able to see the bigger truth behind the actual situation. Buddha helped her in understanding by sending her house to house to find the house where nobody has ever dies. This expanded her viewpoint and she was able to see beyond her grief.