How can I hode my farts in public?Reply fast
Answers
xD.... Question
1. Don’t Move A Muscle
Once you’ve taken the plunge, stay still like a mannequin. Any signs of movement and you will be pinned by those around you on account of fleeing the scene. Know how to make a poker face? It would come in handy if your expressions remain the same as well. Give nothing away!
2. Be The First One To Identify
Just like you get brownie points when you come first in a Mathematics exam in school, you automatically get a sense of immunity if you’re the first person to identify the raging smell. Move your hands with conviction and start coughing whilst yelling out ‘Aaye Haye’ and ‘What the F**k’. Not only will you get rid of all suspicion, people around will be sympathetic towards you as well. Make sure you don’t break face and keep that serious disgusted look throughout.
3. The Good Old Distraction
What happens when your girlfriend starts shouting when you are peacefully watching Manchester United in action? Everything else goes mute but that shrill squeaky voice, isn’t it? Hope you’ve gotten this gist by now? Well, when you know you’re about to blast away, meticulously either cough too loud or fake sneezing in order to cover up the hideous thing you just did in public.
4. Trust Your Tummy Instinct
You can’t possibly be prepared for everything in life. There are times when you just need to let go irrespective of the surroundings. During such times, just blindly trust your internal digestive system enough to know that you won’t stink the room once the deed is done and bask away. Try leaning against a wall to give yourself that leverage and if you’re already seated, the glass is half full already. This works the best if you’re a moderate eater in general as your farts come out aroma-less.